An Honest Liar
by BlueHairedSaiyan
Summary: AU There should be a difference between honesty and a liar, right? Honesty is when someone tells no lies, and a liar is where they do. It's as simple as that. He never lied to her, he was honest. Whenever he said "I love you" one second...his tongue was down her sister's throat the next? Who knows, it's not like she remember who he is.
1. A Fool

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING**

My First Inuyasha fic! Alright, this may be a two-shot but they're separated by POV. First chapter is Kagome's side of the story, second is Inuyasha's. I actually made this story a long time ago but was never able to upload it until now.

For my other stories, they're still ongoing. I just haven't been active until…well now xD OHFT is probably going to be updated soon, and Born Kind Taught Cruel is still in progress since I have no idea what I wrote previously D:

Anyway,

Enjoy!

Warning: Mild citrus at beginning, nothing explicit though.

* * *

The bed's mahogany headboard rocked against the beige-colored walls as moans and grunts resounded everywhere in the house. Calloused, rough hands gripped ebony locks of his lover as her name was a mantra on his lips. An earth-shattering scream singaled his lover's release, her inner muscles clenching, nearly painfully tight around his erected member, resulting him in going over the edge as well.

With a fierce howl, not caring whoever heard, he quickly pulled out of her heated core and sprayed his hot seed onto her flat, toned, stomach. Spent, a silver-headed male rolled to the side of his lover's body and panted, trying to catch his breath.

"Inuyasha?"

Said man turned his head, looking at the beautiful face of the woman he fucked not so long ago. A smirk lit his features at the brief glimmer that fleeted her chocolate orbs. Tucking his head in the crook of her neck, he inhaled her scent before letting out a breathy sigh.

"Get a bit of sleep," he muttered, "we still got round two to get to."

A small smile donning the woman's face, she closed her eyes as she exhaled slowly. "Alright…" she sighed before letting sleep overtake her.

"Feh," He smirked. "Night…Kikyo."

~.~

Tissue paper littered the wooden floor as a feminine figure curled into a ball. She lay upon satin and golden covers. Clear, reddened, blue eyes stared emptily at the blank ceiling of the room. The noises had stopped. Peal-white teeth released the plump, pink flesh of her lower lip as a shattered sigh exited her mouth.

She knew it was just a matter of a few hours before the heart-wrenching noises came alive again. After all, it was only midnight; it was still too early for those two to be over already. Ocean orbs clenched shut as she turned her head to muffle, yet, another painful cry. It's not like _he_ would care, he would probably just pound against the wall and tell her to shut up.

Although, she should've gotten used to this treatment already, after all, she had for the last five years of their marriage.

A young, radiant, naïve Kagome Higurashi was happily engaged at the age of 25 o a wealthy, successful, brilliant young man, Inuyasha Taisho. She and the man met by attending the same high school in sophomore year. The two always fought at one another, like cats and dogs, but for some miraculous reason, they fell in love and started dating in junior year.

From that year on the two were nearly inseparable. They even attended the same college together. Hell, she was even there when Inuyasha constructed his own empire. Two years after the two graduated at Shikon University, he proposed to her.

Of course, she said yes.

So a week before their wedding, she was foolish enough to introduce her stepsister, Kikyo, to her groom. The two talked non-stop since their introduction, and have gotten awfully close in the brief amount of time they've spent together. Kagome didn't suspect a thing though, figuring it was good to have her husband-to-be and the person she looked up to the most to have a good bond.

She shouldn't have been so stupid.

The telltale signs of conspiracy were going on behind her back. Right after her's and Inuyasha's wedding reception, he asked to call off the honeymoon because there was an "emergency" at work and he can't have anyone else take over for him.

She believed him.

When she asked why he came home so late that day, he said he ran into Kikyo and treated her to some dinner.

She didn't find that suspicious.

Her best friend, the maid-of-honor at her wedding, Sango, called her a month after their wedding day and told her she felt cautious of Kikyo's and Inuyasha's relationship, saying it was weird that the two have been seeing each other more than Kagome to Inuyasha.

She hung the phone on her.

That same day once her silver-haired husband came home late yet again because of "work", she confronted him. His answer was one that done damn broke her heart.

"_I just ran into Kikyo…we're having an affair."_

From that day on, her stepsister and husband didn't make their intimate relationship a secret anymore. Her sister would come freely into her home sometime at night and go to what used to be _her _room and wait for _her_ husband. Or they would come tumbling in through the front door, sucking each other's faces off as they practically rip at one another's clothes while making their way up the stairs.

And to make matters worse, Kagome was still a virgin. Never picked, never had her cherry popped. She was saving herself up for someone special, but that someone didn't even care about her.

Of course, she had full regulation to divorce him. Oh how Sango, Ayumi, Yuka, and Eri pressured her. Hell, even Miroku, and he's her husband's _best friend_, not to mention Sango's _loyal _husband.

She wasn't that stupid as to not think about it though. She even discussed it with him in fact. Two years after her husband's and sister's sexual affair, she filed an annulment against him and even handed him the papers in person. He didn't even open the manila folder. Once the brown parchment went into his hands, he threw it into the active fireplace and let it burn, the stench of burnt ink and smoke stinging her nostrils.

He didn't even bother explain his actions. Then again, he barely talks to her anyway. He just walked off towards the door, grabbing his coat and keys, and slammed the wood shut. He left her, left her to stare at the white papers being reduced into black ashes of what used to be her ticket out of this painful marriage.

She never tried again after that attempt, knowing he'd probably do the same thing again, or something much worse.

She could run away, run away to a place where she will be loved. To a place where she isn't cheated on constantly and trapped in a marriage she couldn't escape. But she didn't know of such a place, she wasn't even sure it existed. All hope and joy left her being agonizingly slow for the next three years of her shit marriage.

And let me tell you, it left a toll on her, both emotionally and physically.

She hasn't been able to get a night's good of rest. She developed dark circles around her eyes; her skin has become less tan and more of a sickly pale. Her figure has grown to an unhealthy stage of skinny where her cheek bones are practically jutting out of her face and her rubs could be easily counted. Even her hair seemed to have lost its glow.

Kagome Taisho, the fool, has been reduced to nothing more than a walking skeleton.

Kagome Taisho, a fool because even though her husband tore her heart out and let it be run over, over and over again, she still loved the bastard like she did in high school.

Even knowing he'll probably never love her the same.

Another tear squeezed its way out of her eyes as the noises began, crushing her soul (or what's left of it). He was always open with her, there wasn't anything he held back from her...He was honest. But when he said he'd never hurt her...well he lied. He loved her, even if it was short lived. Was it stupid to love that part of him?

"I still love you…Inuyasha."

Kami, she truly is a fool.


	2. With that Promise

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING**

**_Thank you for the reviews! Haha, to be honest I didn't think that anyone would like it because it is kinda sad and who wants sad romances? Haha~_**

**_And I'm thinking of making this more than a two-shot...a certain review caught my eye and was able to put more chapters into my head xD I guess I'll give this story its full swing, because hey, Kags deserves a happy ending ;)_**

**_Anyway,_**

**_Enjoy!_**

**_Inu's Time~_**

* * *

It's not like he expected this affair to happen, but it did. The moment Kagome introduced Kikyo to him, he felt lightheaded. Kagome is beautiful herself, but Kikyo...she has a whole different category. She has a distinguished air around her, graceful and proud. She's kind and gentle, but at the same time cold and icy. She was like a porcelain doll. An exact opposite of Kagome, the woman he married. His wife.

Don't get him wrong, he loves Kagome, even during this affair! She was the first girl to accept him, make him feel _wanted_. There's no amount of words that can convey how thankful he is to her for that. Ever since Kagome entered his world, all that he's seen was beauty. She made his grey skies blue, as corny as that sounds. Her bubbly and optimistic personality kept him smiling even when he didn't want to. Her mother-like care made him feel wanted and the need to protect her.

She was just...the perfect girl.

Now, this just makes people say:

"Then why is he doing this to her?"

"Why is he still with her?"

"She deserves better than this."

Do you think he doesn't know that? What he's doing is killing her, he sees that. Her bright blue eyes are now too scary to look at. It's as if looking into nothing. But at the same time, all he sees is pain. Whether it be from his mind or reality, that sight...that _grief_...it was pain from losing herself. A mere glance would send shivers up his back. Her glowing, tan skin was now an unhealthy shade of white. Now that he thinks about it, since when was the last time she stepped outside? She was also skinner now. Much skinner. Her cheekbones were jutting out prominently now, not to mention her arms looked like twigs.

It worries Inuyasha.

And Kikyo.

She tries to get Kagome to eat, talk, hell even out of the guest room. Despite our betrayal...Kikyo still cares for her.

Isn't that ironic?

But this doesn't answer why he's cheating, why he's hurting her. To be completely honest, he doesn't know either. He should just let Kagome go. Let her be happy with someone who _deserves_ her, someone who'll treat her like a queen. She even tried to free herself from him. He didn't need to know what was going on when she showed him that manila folder.

Why did he burn them?

Oh yeah...because he can't let her go. He refuses to let her go off to someone else, be happy with that person. Be loved by someone else. He was the first one to ever love her. He was the first to make her feel amazing, and strong, and wanted, and needed...or was that reversed?

Inuyasha needed Kagome more than she needed him. By far more.

Does he regret that he's cheating on Kagome? Yes. Is he ever going to stop? Try to fix the damage he's already done? Split things with Kikyo for good and go back to Kagome?

...

Is that even possible?

Lately, it just seems like everything is the same with Kagome. He loves her, she loves him, they get get engaged, get married, so on. It just seemed...ordinary. That sounds hypocritical for him to say such a thing, being a hanyou and all. Shouldn't he want the normal life? He does want it, and he has it.

But fuck his selfishness.

He's never going to get Kagome back, even if he already has her. After he burned those documents, she never tried to run away from him again. He should feel happy, right? He should be glad that she isn't running away, right? He should be...satisfied.

"Fuck," Inu growled as he rolled off his bed, rubbing his eyes as he sat on the edge. The bed was set out neatly and thankfully having only him occupying it, at the time being.

What the hell was he thinking?

He'll never be satisfied with this outcome. He'll never be happy because of how much he fucked up. How can he? How can he ever be happy with the fact that he made a woman, his wife, unhappy? How he made a strong, independent, lively woman, into something of a small, timid mouse. Kagome used-to-be Higurashi was now comparable to a little girl hiding in a corner so that she won't be touched by the monsters outside.

He squeezed amber eyes shut as he ran his claws through his smooth, silver hair, wishing more than anything to rip it all out for the agony clenching his heart. He was hurting, but who the hell would care? He should have known once he committed this crime, that no one would be there to help him. Kami he should've listened to Miroku, he should have never gotten close to that conniving vixen.

He should have never taken her up on dinner, or going out to help her shop, or rescue her from an ex...He should have never fallen into the same damn bed as her.

Pushing himself off the bouncy mattress, the Taisho made his way out his bedroom door and towards the staircase. His nose no longer smelled the scent of bacon sizzling on a pan, or the sweet aroma of homemade ramen Kagome would always make. And he could no longer hear the clatter of pots and pans or the faucet running water.

The moment he reached the bottom of the stairs he sighed, dull amber scanning his surroundings as, yet again, no Kagome was in sight. He felt his gaze travel towards the top of the stairs again and to a door next to his bedroom. _Kagome_. She rarely came out of that damn place...

Rubbing the back of his head, he treaded his way back up the stairs until he stood in front of that door, knocking the door as he cleared his throat. He did this at least twice everyday now, try to get her to come out to eat or talk things over. Even if Sango, Miroku, or even his dick of a brother Sesshomaru told him that he should just give up on redemption and leave her, they can just shove it. Even if he abandoned her like this, and even if he can't get her forgiveness, he won't let her suffer, at the very least.

"Kagome?" He rasped out, trying to keep a straight voice.

Silence.

"Kagome please talk, I'm sorry...please come out and eat at least. I'm worried about you."

Nothing.

"Please believe me Kags."

...

"...leave please..."

His eyes widened slightly, a hand pressed against the door. His nose picked up the scent of salt. His claws dug into the wood, guilt tearing a his heart. He hated smelling her tears; he hated her crying period.

"Kagome? Kags? Please open the door. I need to see your face again," He jiggled the doorknob, his voice borderline desperate. "Please Kaggy...I miss seeing you."

His sensitive ears swivelled when he heard her breath hitch, airy gasps making its way out her mouth. He heard her heart pounding weakly. The creaking of her bed made his heart skip, his hopes rising as he felt a tug at the corner of her lips. Was he finally making progress? He knocked on the door once again, begging to hear a response.

"Kaggy, please-"

"_Liar_."

Inuyasha froze. He felt his blood run cold as he tried his best to swallow down the building tension in his throat. It's been awhile since he heard someone talk to him with such..._venom_ in their tone.

"W-What?"

He felt himself backup as he heard footsteps coming from inside the room. He blinked rapidly when he heard the click of her door unlocking, the wood swinging back as a small, fragile woman stood in the middle of the doorframe. Her deadened, glazed over eyes pierced into his skull as her twig-like arms held the bedroom door to keep herself balanced.

"..._you're a liar_...everything you said...it's just _crap_."

He didn't expect this reaction from her. She would usually just ignore his advances and leave his heart feeling heavier each try. "N-no, Kaggy, I really am sorry about-"

"Don't call me _Kaggy_, you asshole," She seethed, grabbing ahold of the doorframe as she tried to keep her knees from buckling. Her figure was terrible and she was malnourished. She looked as if she was going to collapse any moment.

"Don't talk as if you're _familiar_ with me, _Inuyasha_. I can't take this any longer with you!" Tears were welling up in unreadable eyes. It was getting hard for him to tell if she was actually sad. "We are _married_, and not once since the beginning of this...this '_relationship_', was there a-actual love...coming from _you_. I was the only o-one t-t-_trying_ for _us_. I w-wanted us to keep working! I trusted you and d-didn't b-believe my friends when th-they said to _leave_ you!"

She started to slowly walk towards him now, each step taking much needed energy from her already weak body. "I l-lost those friends b-because I argued w-with th-them! I t-told them that you d-don't need _anymore_ people r-running out of your life! That I w-will always r-remain constant in y-your life and never leave." She finally reached him and pounded a tiny fist to his heaving chest, biting her lip as she casted her sight down.

"I walked away f-from _everything_, because I love you..."

Her body could no longer take the stress it was being put under as she finally collapsed to the floor, her shaky hands catching her fall as Inuyasha tried to help her up. She sent him a deadly glare as she shoved his arms away.

"Don't touch me. With those filthy hands you used on Kikyo...I don't want you to touch me with them..." She let out a shaky breath as she tried to gather herself up. "At least let me be with one shred of d-dignity left..."

He halted his movements as he slowly retracted his hands, remorseful eyes watching the broken girl. This was the most she ever spoke to him in _years_. And most emotional at that too...He stared at her shivering body as she tried to group herself together again, trying to build up those walls to keep him out again.

He won't allow that.

"Please, Kagome. Just let me try to fix this...tell me what to do to fix this...I-I can't stop what I've done because...because I don't know how."

He saw her shake her head as she started to scoot away from him.

"Don't block me out, Kags. I know what I did was wrong, I _know_ that. But I'm trying so hard to make this _right_. Sango, Miroku, Rin, Ayame, even _Sesshomaru_ are worried sick about you! Do them a favor and just talk with them again! Instead of being selfish and just locking yourself up and being all pitiful!" He couldn't believe what he just growled out.

He heard the girl whimper as she started to shake her head violently, crawling on all fours to get away from him. He felt his heart tug as she retreated back into the Kami-damned bedroom. Like hell he'll let that happen! He grabbed her ankle and pulled her towards him, golden eyes switching to red momentarily. He can't let his demon take ahold of him, then Kagome really will be lost...

"Let _go_ of me!" She cried as tears were rushing down her cheeks. "There's _nothing_ you could do, you _hanyou_! _NOTHING_!"

"_I have to because you said you'll **always** be by my side_!" He roared out.

He froze once he heard her choke back a sob and raised her hands to her face, as if to defend herself. He quickly let go of her ankle as he stared at his own hands, not believing what he's just done. Did...Did she really believe he was going to _hit_ her? Abuse her? And was that...He sniffed the air around as a whine slipped past him lips. Fear. Kagome was _afraid_ of him. She thought he was going to actually beat her.

What scared him the most...he wasn't sure if he was going to.

"K-kagome...I'm-"

"Let me go!" She hollered as her back now pressed against her door, her lips quivering as she tried her best to at least be audible.

Confusion knitted his eyebrows together. "I'm not even-"

"Let me _go_!"

He shut his mouth as the true meaning behind her words clicked in his mind. Go. She was begging for release. She wanted out of their marriage (can he even call it that?). He bit his inner cheek as he tried to keep his body from shaking. He knew that the right thing to do was to let her go, but he _can't_. Can't she understand that? He may be sleeping with Kikyo, but that doesn't mean he loves her, just her body. He _needs_ Kagome with him, he needs to be with her.

Everything that has happened, all that happened because of _her_...will fade away.

He'll be alone once again.

"I can't," He choked as his hands shook at his sides. "I can't Kagome...I'm sorry..."

Said woman was shaking once again, heart-wrenching sobs racking throughout her body. His heart was pounding madly now, he didn't know what to do anymore. He can't keep hurting her. But he can't find it in himself to hurt _himself. _He begged himself to look away, but then she suddenly lifted her face, staring directly into his eyes. Despite the muffled cries rolling off her tongue, and the tear-stained cheeks that were flushed red, her eyes were glass. They were...

"I don't want to play this role anymore, Inuyasha...You know how painful it is for me to know...I'll always be here by the end of the day?" She chuckled as she stiffly got up, supporting herself as she turned her back to him, making her way back into her room. "I want to stay by your side, forever, Inu...but I don't want to play this role anymore..."

_Click_.

Turning his back, he headed towards the stairs and grabbed his coat quickly, heading towards the front door before he did anything else he'd soon regret.

Jumping into his car, he slammed the car door shut as he sat there silently, unshed tears in his eyes.

Why hasn't he realized this sooner?

Why did it take just now to realize this?

His hands clenched together as he finally let the tears fall. He pressed his forehead onto his steering wheel as sobs racked throughout his body, all the built-up guilt and grief letting all out. Even if he let her go, even if all this shit never happened:

He would still be alone.

Because she's already broken.

Kagome was always broken, from the start, everything about her was broken accept her heart...but now...

She's just a broken girl.

"I'll fix this, Kags," He growled weakly as he put his key into the ignition, starting the car as he pulled out of his driveway.

With that promise, he drove off.


	3. His Heart Dropped

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING**

**_I hope nobody doesn't misunderstand the concept I'm getting at with how I'm writing Inu's and Kag's feelings. I'm actually trying to base it off how their feelings actually were in the manga/anime. To me it didn't really take time to dig deeper into Kagome's and Inu's feelings, just generalize it saying "Kagome was sad that Inu always go after Kikyo" or "Inu says he wants Kags by his side but always goes off to Kikyo"_**

**_In this story, although sad, I decided to exaggerate their feelings. I hope it's coming across like that ^^_**

**_And the pairing will remain InuxKag. It may not seem like it right now, but it's a WIP ^^_**

**_Anyway,_**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

"You fucking piece of _shit_!" Sango screeched as she threw rags and different clothing at Inuyasha's face, trying to ward him off. The dog-demon stood strong as he dealt everything the petite woman threw at him, his face sullen as he waited for her to vent out to him.

Miroku, standing by his wife's side, just stared at his best friend with shameful eyes. Yes, Inuyasha and him were still best friends. He knew the man since they were both in grade school, he can't let a friendship that long go away because of his careless mistakes. Let him rephrase that. He knows that what Inuyasha did was by far horrible, and he was angry with him for it too. But he knew better than to isolate him at this point, that'll only cause more troubles to arise between the troubled hanyou and the poor Kagome.

"After torturing her for _five_ _fucking years_, you finally have the right mind to fix _everything _but have the _balls_ to ask _us_ on how to fix it?! And not even break up with that _whore_ before coming here?!" She glared daggers. "Are you a fucking sadist?! You're a complete, utter, _baka_!"

He clenched his fists as he let her words sink into him, trying to think of the correct words to say. "I...I know that what I did was traumatising to Kagome and I know she's hurt by what I did. But I want to fix this. This is the first time she's talked to me in _years,_ Sango! I think she's finally starting to let those fucking walls down. She's improving! All she needs now is a little push!" He had a convinced look in his eye. "We could get the old Kagome _back_!"

He was sure that'll fix everything. She's broken, so all he has to do is not fix the situation, but fix _her_.

Sango laughed at him coldly as she twisted her neck to the side, biting her inner cheek as she shook her head slowly. Was he a fucking fool? She folded her arms across chest before looking directly at him, clicking her tongue. She started to slowly approach him.

"You..."

Her arms came down.

"...think that Kagome..."

She was directly in front of him, inches away from touching him.

"...is improving?"

She couldn't believe his audacity to nod. Tightening her jaw, she quickly retreated before she could punch him in his stupid face. She knew that he was smarter than this, he has to be. If he thinks that just because Kags decided to voice out her inner feelings to him, _finally_, today...he thinks he fucking knows her.

"News flash," She quipped, glaring fiercely. "Just because she fucking talks to you after years of being cheated," He winced, "used," He looked away, "and _stepped on_, by the man she fucking _married_...means she 'improves', you're sadly mistaken!" She tried to steady her breathing. "You're...so...ARGH!" She growled out before grabbing another item (a pan) and was about to throw it at his puny head, until Miroku stepped in.

"I believe it's my turn, dearest," He said chastely before taking the pan out of her hand. Turning back to the alarmed male, he let out a sigh. Truly his friend can think for himself, right?

"What she's saying, Inuyasha," He stated slowly, "Is that Kagome didn't act like this because she's starting to open up again...she's acted like that to show you she's _done_."

"Yeah, done with me being a complete douchebag, but Miroku I'll _change_."

The dark-haired man sighed, rubbing his temples in frustration. "No, that's not _just _it," He tisked. "She's done with being your doormat. She's done with trying for your marriage. She's all but saying 'Just go screw Kinky-hoe for all I care because I'm not apart of your life anymore.'" He gave the guilt-stricken hanyou a look, his next words sending another blow to his torn heart. "She's telling you to give up on her."

Inuyasha looked down, unable to respond.

"I still believe you should, Inuyasha."

The dog demon fisted his hands, his knuckles white. "I won't let her go!" He lifted his head, smirking sadly at the astounded looks on the two's faces. His eyes were bloodshot from tears, bags underneath his eyes and his face pale from stress. He was serious. He actually wanted to make things right.

But pity was something people _better_ deserved.

"Do you not see how she is?! Are you that blind?! She's past the point of forgiveness for you, Inuyasha! You want to know the real reason she's still staying? Even after years of putting up with your _shit_?" Sango was in tears at this point. She was just so fucking sick of seeing Kags, such an amazing woman, be treated like this any longer.

"Because," She laughed cruelly, wiping the tears trailing down her cheeks. Miroku came to her side to comfort her, wrapping strong arms around her soothingly. She let her smile crack momentarily, choking on a cry.

"Because of _you_. She says you'll be left _alone_ all over again, and that even through the cheating, the lies, her vulnerability, she still has _faith_ in a shit person like you." Streams were rolling down her cheeks now. "That she couldn't find it in her heart to _leave_ your sorry ass because she doesn't want you to face another _dark age_. Even if that meant putting _herself_ into one!"

Inuyasha tightened his jaw at the new information, his mind in a blaze. "Kagome...no, she's strong enough to know what's right. Especially for herself." He felt his eyes getting misty. "She could've left any time she wanted!"

A nasty laugh.

"Like that one time?"

Tight jaw.

"How can you even fucking say that 'she could've left any time she wanted'! She _did_ try to leave you, but you were so fucked up to deny her that right!"

He felt his claws dig into his palm.

"And you know what sucks the most? She didn't try to leave you since that incident. It's as if she gave up on herself _entirely_. And you think this is just _hurting_ her? She minus well be dead already! She's broken beyond repair! You know, that's the true definition of broken, Inuyasha; you could be standing right in front of me, but does that mean you're actually here? You are physically, but inside you're already _gone_. You're just a _shell_. Being broken is the _loneliest_ and most desperate feeling anyone could ever feel. And Kags is going through it because...because you..."

His ears flattened to his head, wishing for this tongue-lashing to be over.

"Because you fucking forgot _one _important detail!"

He choked. "Enough-"

"SHE'S FUCKING HUMAN, YASH! How long do you expect her to keep up with you? She has only her thoughts, her feelings, pains, hardships, everything! You should know that because of your humanity side." She curled her lip in disgust. "She's not a youkai or a human with no heart. She cares for you, more than you deserve."

She clicked her tongue before pulling out of her husband's loving embrace, turning her hack to retreat back into her home. "Look at Miroku for an example of a loving husband. Copy exactly how he treats me, go ahead, but that won't change _anything_. I can't wait until Kagome leaves you _for good_. After all, she doesn't want to 'play her role' anymore, right?" She bit her lip.

Kami Kagome...no one deserves to play that part.

She paused, turning to face him. "If you were in her position, Yash, would you finally be able to understand how she feels? But...you're just a demon, you won't care how it hurts, because you're invincible, right?" With that, she left.

Inuyasha bit hard on his tongue so as to not say something he might regret. So the fact that he's a half youkai he won't feel remorse for his actions against Kagome? And he should feel worse because his human side should've been more caring to her? He feels fucking terrible that he is the reason for all of her suffering. It didn't matter if he was half of this, or half of something else, did it make him less of a person? His actions made him less of a man...but that was fucked up to blame who he _is_. It wasn't his fucking choice.

But the cheating...

His cowardliness...

His selfishness...

_Her _suffering...

All of it was.

"Hey," Miroku spoke out, patting his friend's back. "Everything she said was right, how even if you try to fix everything, she'll remain broken."

"Am I gonna get another lecture from you-"

"Not at all, I'm just making sure you acknowledged what you're getting into." Roku's smile began to fade as he put on a set face. "If you think about it, is there really a chance for redemption? You might be able to get her forgiveness, might, but do you think you'd be able to convince her to love you again? To have a fresh start with this history?"

"Stop fucking telling me to give up!"

"I'm not, I'm telling you to wake up!"

Silence.

"Face reality, Inuyasha. This isn't a fucking story where everything turns out okay in the end, this is _reality_. Not everyone gets happy endings."

"But as people we can try to attain them ourselves, right?! And I ain't stopping until I get that for Kagome!"

It was Miroku's turn to shut up. His jaw snapped shut as he stared incredulously at his friend, unsure on how to respond. Such a bold thing to say...is he actually going to keep to it? He clenched his hands, the thought mulling over in his head. He shouldn't get his hopes up.

"Why now, Inuyasha? Why do you want to make things right now? Is it really because the repentance and wrongdoing of this all finally caught up to your head?"

The silver-haired man widened his eyes, fumbling with words as they just mixed together in a mess. It was because...he wanted to fix Kagome, right? So she can be happy again, right? So they can have a fresh start. Why isn't he saying this? He's trying to convince Miroku, not himself...

"So she won't-" He swallowed, just realizing why he was being so persistent. "...won't leave me..."

Miroku didn't expect more from his answer.

"In this process of redemption...what do you plan to do with your affair with Kikyo? If you really want your plan to work, then you have to severe your ties with her. No more meet ups, no more talking, and for Buddha's sake Yash, stop fucking in yours and _Kag__'s _house. Especially since she's always there for your bootycalls..."

His back stiffened. "O...Ok," he stuttered out, his eyes squinting as uncertainty began to swim in his eyes. "B-But she also wants to help Kags, she always tries to talk to her when she's over-"

Miroku began to laugh, shaking his head musingly as he tried to finalize the fact that his friend truly _was_ clueless. He should know better, so much better. She actually cares for Kagome? Ha. What an interesting reality Inuyasha has created from himself. How _pathetic_.

"Think over what you just said." He mused, crossing his arms. "Kikyo cares for Kagome? Your wife?"

Golden orbs swam with confusion as he nodded his head slowly.

"Kikyo, the same Kikyo that you fuck with, at your own house, instead of Kagome, your wife? Kagome whom Kikyo is concerned about?"

It clicked.

"Stop speaking shit, Roku." He growled out, starting to make the path back to his car. "You met Kikyo as well, haven't you? It doesn't seem in her nature to do that type of shit. She's the motherly type."

The dark-haired man wanted to rip that hanyou's pretty little ears and shove them up his ass so he could hear all the _crap_ he's spewing. Why is he defending her? Knowing his friend's short temper and habit of jumping the gun, he would've thought he'd blame Kikyo for this entire mess. He'd blame Kikyo for seducing him and breaking Kagome's heart. Unless...Violet eyes sharpened as he turned on his heel, making his way back into his home and to his wife. He can't believe it, but then again, why can't he?

He should've known better than to think Inuyasha would take this seriously.

"Where the hell are you going?!"

He paused, glaring hard at the ignorant hanyou. He knew that he shouldn't be doing this to him, it'll just bring more guilt and grief into the situation. But enough is _enough_. How long will this last until something has to be lost from this? Is he just waiting for Kagome to drop dead already?

"Just stop it already, Yash."

Amber eyes began to fill with a mix of emotions. Why did his voice sound so pained?

"Stop it."

"Stop telling me that, Roku!"

"Please Yash, enough is_ enough_."

Inuyasha began to blink rapidly, trying his best to ward off tears. "I thought you were going to help me-"

"HOW CAN I POSSIBLY HELP YOU WITHOUT BRINGING KAGOME TEN STEPS CLOSER TO HER GRAVE?!" He blew up. "If you _truly_ wanted to _help her_, let her _go_. Kagome doesn't need your _guilty, half-assed_ efforts in healing her. She needs someone who'll actually _love _her."

A clawed hand gripped his chest, a his hand clenching the tissue above his heart. It was squeezing again, making it harder for him to breathe. Every breath made him want to wheeze from how little air he was getting. He did love her, didn't he? He loves her!

"But Buddha, heh, why can't it be _that _easy, hm?"

"R-Roku-"

"Leave her, Inuyasha. Let her live a few more years with no more _suffering_."

"Suffering? Miroku I-"

"ARE YOU STUPID?! Minus well flaunt around a sign, a flag, write it on the _fucking sky_ saying that Kikyo will _always_ be the better woman compared to Kagome. That she will _always_ be first over Kagome. That Kagome never fucking _mattered_ in the first place."

Clawed fingers were wrapped around the raging human's throat, fiery red eyes piercing into his friend's own violet ones. The half-demon's lips were curled into a snarl as he challenged the man to continue, say more about shit. How could he even _dare_ to say such words, say such things?! Did he not love that woman from the start? Did he not cheer her on throughout their high school days? Did he not propose to her himself?

Kagome was his first always.

"Kagome always matters," He snarled as he threw his friend to the ground, his eyes still ablaze.

Miroku rubbed a hand around his neck, massaging the sore spots as he squinted at Inuyasha challengingly, scoffing at his naive thinking. "She was a _play toy_ for you, you fucking dog." He coughed out. "Compared to Kikyo, she was a _servant_ doing your every bidding." He sent him a pitiful smirk. "Tell me Yash, is Kikyo's body really all you like about her? How about Kagome's? Isn't her's just as good, probably better?"

A fierce growl rolled off the said man's chest, his heart pounding wildly at the dangerous words.

Kagome was his first always.

"What? No? Is Kikyo's really better? What the fuck are you talking about that Kagome matters then?"

"Shut the hell UP-"

"This conversation is over already, Inuyasha. Just leave Kagome. Sign those fucking annulment papers and let her go. After all, the marriage was never consummated, so it isn't legal." Inuyasha's blood ran cold. "Right?"

A small whine made its way up his throat.

"And to think she saved herself for you-"

Wide eyes.

"Oh you didn't know? She's a _virgin_. You should've known that, she didn't act like _Kinky-Hoe_."

...But Kagome was his first...always.

The entire time together...Kagome never once had sex? He felt his throat constrict, his heart was pounding wildly as every inhale caused it to clench in agony. No, she has to have, he should've smelled her purity then. She fucked other men before him, right? That's what he was told. Even when they were together, she was the one hurting him first, right? Because he was a hanyou, who would want to be with a creature like that? She was always around Kouga or Bankotsu during their college days, they had a thing right?

_No_.

His hands gripped at his scalp as he let out a strangled whine, fresh tears rolling down his face. No, no. Miroku had to be _lying_. Kagome wasn't a virgin, why else would he be told of her actions?

"No, you're wrong," He choked out. "She always smelled like Kouga or some other male during college, she was the one who cheated on _me_ first!"

Miroku's eyes nearly popped out of its sockets. Did he just say what he think he just said? _Kagome_ was the one cheating on him? He clenched his fist, slowly approaching the torn man in front of him. His violet eyes held no remorse as he reeled back his arm. How could he even say that?

_Punch_.

Inuyasha's head was turned to the side, disbelief written on his face.

"Leave here, Inuyasha. Go back to Kikyo, you two obviously deserve each other." He turned his back, heading back to inside his home. "Kagome deserves better than you."

Said man felt his blood run cold as he watched his best friend, the last person he could rely on, walk away from him. His claws dug into the ground beneath him, trying his best not to dig them into his friend's skull. Is this agony close to enough to how Kagome must feel? Is this desperation close to Kagome's? He felt the bright world he was living in begin to darken, nearly pitch black.

No, he doesn't want to be back in that darkness. He didn't want to feel the cold winds from society and the piercing pain in his heart as if he was being stabbed. That world is too scary, too lonely. But he couldn't make a home in this bright reality.

Because the time he got back home, he couldn't smell tears anymore.

"Kagome?!"

He raced up to her room, banging on her door. He was scared, so _fucking _scared. He couldn't smell her. He couldn't smell her tears, her grief, _her_. In a panic, he broke her door down, ignoring the stinging pain of the splinters piercing his skin. That pain couldn't even compare to what he was seeing.

"K-Kagom-"

"Hello Inuyasha."

His heart dropped.


	4. She Swallowed

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING**

**Ooooh more background on the situation ;) Sorry for this to be a little short, but I hope you still like it nonetheless ;)**

_Italicized = _flashback/thoughts (this beginning is a flashback)

**_Anyway,_**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

_"Just leave him Kags!_"

_A tear slipped._

_"__He's over here at my house, it's your perfect opportunity to ditch him for good! Please pick up the phone, Kaggy, I know you are there._"

_She felt like suffocating._

_"____Just leave Inuyasha, he's killing you! He doesn't love you. You should've known that since the start of his affair! He may have loved you then, but sure as hell not now. Please Kagome, you deserve a better life. A _happier _life_."

_The victimised woman stared at her phone as she let the words of her best friend drown in her ears, her heart thumping loudly after every reminder of her unrequited love. She knows she should give up on this relationship, give up on him period. Did she really need a reminder of that? She's been facing that reality for the past five years, one would think she'd have enough of it._

_But she keeps hoping._

_She's an idiot, right? She keeps hoping that he'd find a way to fix this mess himself. Or, or that he would discard Kikyo and take her to a place far, far away, where they could be happy. She'd keep hoping that he'll turn into Prince Charming, just like in high school, and fly her away on his back, preferably a white horse but his back was the usual._

_She is a dreamer, right?_

_Well it can't be helped, who doesn't wish for that? Wish for reality to be just like a stories? Reality can be either scary or blissful, but the fact of not knowing which is what makes it undesirable. Unlike stories, no, stories are direct. They won't play games like reality. They won't hurt because in the end everyone knows that it'll always be a happy ending. It's like a dream. That's what make novels so good. They tell of a dream that escapes reality. Or even, tell of a_ better _reality.__ But always,_ always, _reality destroys dreams, doesn't? Because by the end of the day, when she has to put that book down, she has to live in_ this _world again.__ Dreams...can never break reality._

_Is that why she's like this?_

_Because reality finally sank in? __Because she realized that she'll never get her Prince Charming? That the man she's with right now is fine with this chaos? __Because reality destroyed the dream inside her? _

_No...Inuyasha destroyed that dream._

_He destroyed her._

_"He doesn't love you, Kagome."_

_Her eyes sharpened._

_That's true, isn't it?_

_But what's also true...is that she loves him._

Kagome smirked faintly as she stared directly at her husband, giggling at the aghast look on his face. What was wrong? She finally started to listen to him. She's eating, she's cleaned up, she would've looked more normal if it weren't for her bony figure. She was even dressed nicely too. She donned those dark jeans that he liked, and even wore his favorite shirt.

"Hello Inuyasha," She smiled toothly. "How are you?"

He was still staring at her incredulously. She frowned as she walked up from her spot on bed, putting her bowl of instant ramen on her nightstand. She walked towards him as she put on her best concerned face. He was still staring at her in that flabbergast way, his mouth flopping as no words came out.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue," She teased, straining a smile. "I'm eating like you said, I look decent now too. And I'm talking to you. You said you missed that, right? You missed hearing my voice, right?" She forced a giggle. "C'mon, Yash, smile a little. You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Who the fuck are you," He rasped out, still not believing what he's seeing. This can't be Kagome, this _isn't_. Not only is the scent completely different, but the behaviour is as well. She wasn't moping around and isolating herself anymore. She was being _normal_. As if everything he had done, everything he was trying to fix, never happened. A _fresh new start_. Except...not with Kagome.

"What are you talking about, silly? I am Kagome." She smiled tensely.

He glared menacingly. "No you are not. You may talk, act, _sound _like Kagome, but you sure as hell _don't_ smell like her."

Her smile flattered. "And what am I supposed to smell like?"

He scoffed. "Kagome smells like a cat in the rain on a cold day, or in the wind from a winter day." He smirked. "Kagome smelled the exact opposite of you. _You _smell like sakura blossoms in the middle of spring, very lovely smell. Don't even _try_ to fool me."

_Ouch_. Kagome thought as she tried her best to mask her hurt as she put on another fake smile. Was he trying to torment her even further? She smelled like a _wet cat_? And only _now_, when she's not trying to isolate herself from him, stuck in all the anger, sadness, and grief in her heart, she smells _nice_? Was he so used to her crying and agony that he mistaken it for her _natural _scent? She quickly blinked her eyes to keep the moisture out.

Doesn't that speak volumes?

The man that she loves, and regrettably still does, can't even remember how she smelled during their _happy_ days. That the only way he can remember her is the same as these past five years; in misery. She chuckled blandly, turning her back so that she could retrieve her ramen from her nightstand.

"Well, I can assure you, I'm still Kagome." She poised her chopsticks and caught a few noodles, pulling the pasta up to her mouth. "Do I need to prove myself?"

Inuyasha looked at her curiously, still not trusting her entirely. She shrugged.

"Fine, ask me something that the real Kagome could know."

"...what sports did Kagome play."

"_I_," she corrected, "did archery and soccer. That was an easy question, Yash, honestly." She rolled her diamond-like eyes.

His golden wells sharpened. "Right, that was easy...how many times did Kagome break her left arm?"

"Never did."

His eyes sparkled. "Lies. Kagome broke her arm once, keeping her-"

"From competing in the championship finals in archery in high school. I'm right-handed, I broke my _right _arm. Not my left."

He stayed silent, still having an unreadable look on his face. "Last question...True or false...Kagome and I married out of love."

Her oceanic eyes widened slightly, stunned by his question. Married out of love? Does she even have an answer for that? She knows that she married _him_ out of love. No doubt about it. Did Inuyasha marry _her_ out of love? He proposed to her, right? He created his own vows, said I do, and cut the cake with her, right? Yeah...he did marry her. But he also met Kikyo. She smiled grimly, pulling her arms behind her back as she rocked back and forth on her feet.

"That's no fair. It's a trick question." She felt the tears coming back as she took in a shaky breath. "I married you out of love," She started, trying to control the tremble in her voice. "But Inuyasha...Inuyasha married me." She heard him whine.

Isn't this funny? It has to be. Here she is, talking normally to the man who ruined her life, the man who made her feel one step away from the edge yet already falling. The man whom she still loves. The man she thought she knew. Inuyasha Taisho, the name she should be proud to call her husband but was never once given the chance. And despite...despite all the hardships, envy, and heart-break being with Inuyasha caused, she still remained by his side like an obedient dog. It's funny...how this man shattered, crushed, and ran over her heart thousands of times...can pulverize it once more now.

"I did-"

"No...you didn't." She felt her bottom lip tremble as she stared glossy eyes at him. "You just didn't want to be alone." She took in a deep breath as the familiar sound of a car pulling in reached her ears. "And me, being hopeless in pleasing you," She laughed as she brought a hand to cup her face, turning the other way. "Never left your side." She heard her front door unlock. "But you can have Kikyo for that, can't you? She'll keep you happy..."

His eyes widened. She should know that isn't the case. That will never be the case. While on the way driving back from Miroku's, he realized that he had developed some feelings towards Kikyo (feelings that he isn't even clear about) and how he seeks her out was what hurt Kagome; what made her heartbroken. But she should be smart enough to understand that he always comes back to her in the end. That he always wakes up, not to Kikyo's face, not to Kikyo's presence, but Kagome's.

"But Kagome I can't be happy if you're-"

"Inu_yasha_~" A familiar voice called, making him wince. What timing she had.

Kagome smiled wistfully as she turned front to her room, giving him a (forced) reassuring smile. "I want you to be happy, Inuyasha. That's why I never left your side." She grabbed her door, gesturing for him to pick it up. He quickly lined it with her doorframe. "And I figured out," She heard footsteps coming up the stairs. "That'll only happen if you have both of us." And with that, she closed the door.

She heard her sister's giggling through her door as she tried to choke back a cry, putting a hand over her mouth as she blinked away her tears. She's not being selfish like Inuyasha said. She's taking into account the situation, seeing things from his point of view. He's confused, hurt, sorry, and...hold feelings for another woman. She shook her head as she forced her body to move towards her bed, trying to reach her half-finished meal. She's eating like he said too. She looked to her closet as she stared at the full-length mirror mounted on it, staring at her reflection. And she looks more presentable too.

Everything he wanted.

He's happy that she's better off now, right? More taken care of. He should be happy about that.

And of course...he had Kikyo too. She slowly got up from her bed and walked towards her mirror, making eye contact with her reflection. Who wouldn't blame him? Despite Kagome's appearance now, she never was as bodily gifted as Kikyo. Kikyo always had a slimmer waist than her...and perfect, straight, black hair, unllike her own unruly curly hair...and Kikyo was just so _beautiful. _She couldn't remember a day that Kikyo never looked stunning. Kikyo was like a living, porcelain doll.

Her eyes scanned down her own body as she gripped the loose t-shirt on her body, throwing the fabric over heard head and to the side. She was disgusted by her own image. Her body hands trailed down her chest, the bra she's wearing quite loose. Then it was down her torso, causing her to wince. Her ribs were poking out repulsingly, making her hands tremble from touching them. And look...her hip bones were noticeable too.

She bit her bottom lip as she looked away from the image, grabbing her t-shirt and quickly putting it on. She was horrified with what she just saw. was that why Inuyasha never dared to do more than kiss her? Because he was too repulsed by her body? She felt her insecurities creep back, her heart squeezing. That's probably the reason. Who would love her body? She felt a tension in her throat as she quickly made her way towards her built-in bathroom.

Her hands shot towards the medicine cabinet as she grabbed at various pill bottles, trying to find her anxiety medication. Once finding it, she stared at the label helplessly as she went back into her room to pick up a bottle of water. Her heart felt heavy as she took two pills out, her face creasing as she frowned at the two tablets. Throwing her head back, she put the two pills in her mouth and washed them down with her water.

Yes...who would love her?

"Kikyo isn't on anxiety or anti-depressants...she doesn't have such a bony figure."

She clenched her fists as she stared out her window, trying to relax.

"Any man would take her...a beautiful woman with no baggage."

Her mind went back to what she saw in her mirror.

"I just can't fit those qualifications..."

This is what she hated most about herself. Her insecurities. She used to be so sure, open, and had no fear to speak her mind. Her friends envied her on her sureness and how well she's carried herself. And to think that they thought she wouldn't change once a man came into her life. To be honest, she didn't think she would either. She was always the type to scold her friends if they ever think of changing for a man. Such a hypocrite.

_This is why Inuyasha always chases after Kikyo, _she thought grimly as she heard the banging of various objects against the walls once more. _Why'd I ever meet him? If I knew it was gonna hurt this much I'd never lay eyes on him. But...I want him. _She felt her lip curl in distaste in her self-pity.

"What's wrong, Inu? What do you mean you're busy?"

Kagome flicked her head up in surprise. Didn't she hear them going at it a few minutes ago?

"I can't be with you like this anymore, Kikyo."

Kagome felt her breath catch in her throat.

"What do you mean? You don't want to be with me anymore?"

She heard him sigh.

"We were never together in the first place, Kikyo."

Kagome bit her lip in worry. What the hell was he doing?

"W-Why this all of a sudden?"

She was astounded by his reply.

"It isn't all of a sudden...I'm married...to your sister. I should have never started this to begin with."

A ghost of a smile made its way to the corners of her mouth as she placed a gentle hand over her chest, trying to calm her raging heartbeat. Is she not imagining this? Is this really happening? She froze, brushing the thought aside. No, she shouldn't get her hopes up high. She was enduring for his happiness (but will hopefully stop once he makes a decision).

"Saying you're married...that never stopped you."

True.

"Well I'm stopping now."

She couldn't help but wonder, was he doing this for her? Trying to convince her to act normal again? Wasn't she doing that already? Doing whatever he said and not "moping around" like he said. Was...she not good enough again? She felt her pride wince as it took another killer blow. What standards he has.

"I'm serious, Kikyo. Kagome is making progress now. Did you know she's talking to me again? We could hold a complete conversation again. I let her slip because of what she did before, but I'm not letting her slip now,"

She furrowed her eyebrows. What did she do?

"I'm pretty sure if I talk to her she'll explain to me why she-"

"Come on, Inuyasha! I'm here right now and Kagome is _still _behind that door. I don't see her talking right now."

"She was until _you _came knocking on the door!"

"Why are you surprised? I always come by around this time! It's nearly 6, Inuyasha! You should know that."

"You're not even concerned that she disappeared because you appeared?!"

"She didn't _disappear_! She's in that room!"

She heard him growl in irritation.

"Ever thought she's isolated herself because of what we're doing?"

Silence.

Kagome quirked her eyebrow. So he was now deciding to open his eyes? He decided now to be apart of her life again. She kept silent as she awaited her sister's reply, a bit unsettled by how quiet she was. She fumbled with her fingers. She knew her sister very well, ever since she was a middle schooler. Kikyo went to different schools for her sake. In every past school, whenever she and Kikyo were placed in the same school everyone would compare the two and ultimately leave Kagome feeling like the lesser of the two. Kikyo noticed that and requested for their mother to enroll her into a different school farther away from Kagome's.

Kikyo always looked after her.

Guess that's why she couldn't find herself to get angry at her sister.

"...I knew that a long time ago."

Even if she did betray her.

"W-What?"

"Honestly, Inuyasha."

She blinked back her tears as she urged her hands to cover her ears.

"I knew what I was doing was hurting Kagome,"

Please stop it.

"But _I'm _much better than her!"

Stop.

"For her to have you I can't tolerate it."

She stood up.

"I am much more suitable than her,"

She walked towards her medicine cabinet.

"It's been that way ever since we met."

She gazed at the bottle of pills in her hand. _Sleeping pills_.

"It's such an eyesore to deal with. You're better off with me, Inu."

She wonders...if she wakes up, will she be in a better place? Will Kami take pity on her? She closed her eyes, getting ready to end this. End this never-ending nightmare. Kikyo was right. She was an eyesore for someone like Inuyasha. He's such a beautiful specimen, compared to her. Kikyo is gorgeous. Gorgeous people should be with other gorgeous people, right? She just didn't belong. She was just getting in-between the two of them.

She leaned her head back.

"You..."

She downed the entire container.

"I-Inu what are you-"

She brought the water to her lips.

"What are you-!"

She heard her door collapse.

"KAGOME DON'T-"

She swallowed.


	5. I Understand

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING**

**Okay I can see that some people are getting fed up with Kagome's actions. But to be honest, going through what she is, for five years straight, can anyone really say they'll leave? ****This story is a WIP, it won't be pretty in the beginning. It's an abusive relationship, not physically but something far more painful. Actual people are in this kind of relationship, and I know some women that are just as independent and strong as Kagome but fall when it comes to their love.**

**_Anyway,_**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

_"_Kagome! Baby, please, spit it out- SPIT IT OUT!" Inuyasha panicked as he held his wife's frail form, shaking her lightly.

She was unconscious. Kikyo stood behind them as she held a phone to her ear, speaking rapidly into the receiver to the operator. Inuyasha couldn't believe how fast everything was moving; how fast Kagome's face was turning transparent. This was his punishment, wasn't it? Because he took so damn long to fix things that she finally decided to escape herself.

"Kagome, wake up, come on- WHERE THE HELL IS THAT DAMN AMBULANCE KIKYO!"

Said woman was sobbing as she gave him a fed up look. "I CALLED! THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY!" She placed a hand over her quivering lips. What has she done? Kami this was all her fault. How long was Kagome like this? How long was she in this state? She knew that she was bad, but she didn't expect it to be _this _brutal.

She felt her heart thump loudly, her hand grabbing at the overworking artery. This never happened before- What was this feeling? Was this _guilt_? Her other arm raised to her face as she fruitlessly tried to wipe away the rivers flowing down her face.

"...you see now?"

She snapped her head towards him, tears streaming down her cheeks as she glared. "What? You going to pin the blame like you always do? Can't accept that _you _are responsible as well? Just because you're a half-demon doesn't mean you have to act like a _fucking _monster! Be human for at least one second, can't you!"

He felt his demon blood boil as a _second _time today he was outed for his youkai heritage. He's a fucking half-demon, yes, does that make him a monster? No. He winced. But that doesn't excuse the fact that he's still a monster. He destroyed her. He was too scared, to _fucking _scared to go back to being hated, that he pushed her into that corner he was backed into. Forced monsters like himself to keep her in that corner, making sure she'll stay _afraid_ and _hopeless_. He did far more than destroy her. He knew that a long time ago, didn't he? Yet, as a way to redeem himself, have a small, flickering chance of hope that things will remain _happy_, he went to another woman.

He just had to test how _happy_ he'll be.

His ears twitched as he heard the sounds of an ambulance, his hands readjusting its hold on Kagome as he lifted her up easily. He whimpered. It was _too _easy to carry her. It was as if she wasn't even in his arms. She was so skinny, so small, so _fragile_...It just hurt so much to touch her. She needed to be taken away immediately. She shouldn't be held in his arms, held so protectively, in his arms. It's too painful.

"Quick, get her on!" One medic ordered, the other scurrying to retrieve the gurney.

He watched with pained eyes as she was taken away on a gurney, Kikyo quickly following next to her sister as she followed inside the ambulance. He couldn't go in there with her. He doesn't think he'll make it. He can't bare it. But before he knew it, he was already halfway towards the hospital.

The entire ride he had his head in his hands, trying to ease his breathing as he played with the golden band wrapped around his ring finger on his left hand. He wouldn't dare call it his wedding ring. Because a wedding ring would imply marriage, and marriage would imply a unity between a woman and a man, and a man and a woman committed towards each other would imply _love_.

_"I married you out of love...but Inuyasha...Inuyasha just married me."_

Who the hell was he?

He didn't know how long he was devoured in his own self-pity, but the time he finally decided to snap out of it was when the vehicle came to a harsh stop, the back doors opening in just a mere few seconds. He had to bite back his bark when he saw those doctors take ahold of Kagome's gurney, wheeling her into the E.R.

He couldn't stand their aghast expressions, it just made his heart tighten. Didn't anyone tell them it's rude to stare? He didn't like those prejudice eyes scanning Kagome's body, he didn't like the glimmer of suspicion either. He knew what they already concluded, it didn't take a genius to figure it out. Despite that, he needed to be with her. He needed to look at her face, he needed to be by her side. He needed to apologise, start all over again; _protect_ her.

"Please," he rasped, grabbing one of the medic's shoulder. "Let me in. She's my wife, I need to be there inside for her."

The nurse grabbed his hand reassuring, her face stern as she shook her head. "I'm sorry sir, we can't let in you right now."

His hand began to shake in the smaller woman's unattached hold. "_Please,"_ he stressed, boring pleading eyes into the professional's. "Let me in there."

She pushed his hand off her shoulder, gripping his arm as she shook her head once more. "Stay in the waiting room, sir. I can assure you that we will save your wife, alright?"

He felt his breathing stop as she pushed through those double doors. The doors leading to his dying wife. He let out a cry as he collapsed on a chair, his body lurched over as he held his head in his hands. It hurt, it hurt so much. He needs to give up on her, he _needs_ to. She already gave up on him, to the extent of suicide. But she couldn't leave him, because Kagome...he chuckled dryly. Kagome is so selfless. She was just waiting for him to say something to her; say that she's _free_. Because he knew that she couldn't do it herself. Because he knew that she would've been by his side through _anything_.

He felt Kikyo put a hand on his arm, tugging at him. "Inuyasha, please, calm down. There's nothing we could do but hope for the best."

But he took that fact for granted, didn't he?

She bit her lip as she added, "I-I called Sango and Miroku a little while ago, they should be coming in around now."

"WHERE IS HE?"

Inuyasha snapped his head towards the entrance, wincing at the loud voice. _Sango_. Wasn't it already enough that Kagome might be gone from him forever? Wasn't it enough for him to _truly _feel lost but already knowing where he is? Isn't it enough that he ruined a life and nearly ended it? Especially since that life...was his wife's...

Wife, isn't that such a vague word to say now?

Miroku rushed to his wife's side quickly, chiding for her to use her indoor voice. He knew that she was angry, but she was scared. She was so fucking scared. And she has every right to be. He didn't want to believe it himself when he got that call from Kikyo. Not only the fact that he got a call from the woman shocked him, but how _terrified _she sounded as well. It almost made him pity her, almost.

Inuyasha stood up shakily to his feet, lifting his hand in front of Kikyo as a sign for her to remain seated. She obeyed. Sango stared harshly at his taller figure, making him feel small. He wasn't afraid of her, he wasn't the least bit hurt or mad at her hating eyes. He was ashamed. He was ashamed that after declaring how he'll fix things, trying to convince her and Miroku for help in order to save his marriage, that this was the end result. Kagome was going to leave one way or another, wasn't she?

"Sango-"

"Why are you even here. After giving me that whole speech, giving me that determined look that you'll fix all this mess, you have the _audacity _to be here, in this room, being all panicky and whatnot, when in actuality you probably knew this was going to happen, didn't you?"

"Don't you dare say I expected-"

"And you even brought _Kikyo _with you," She hissed, pointing at said woman. "Are you trying to add insult to injury? Not even when your _wife _could be _dead _at any moment, you're still hanging around with another woman."

At his peripheral, he saw Kikyo bite her lip as she looked the other way. He flattened his ears.

"I was talking to her before Kagome...did what she did." He started slowly. "Kikyo is Kagome's sister, she has every right to be here anyway."

Sango laughed. "Sister? _Sister__?_ Does little Miss Kikyo want to play her sister role _now_?" She gazed coldly at the woman seated behind the silver-haired man, a small smile donning her lips. "As far as Kagome goes, _I'm _her only sister. Because what kind of sister _sleeps _with her _baby sister's_ husband."

The stated mistress hung her head low in shame. The standing woman would've scoffed at such a display. She's deciding now to regret her decisions? When she should've realized them from long ago? Guess the sayings true...you never know how bad something is until someone gets hurt. Her eyes widened a fraction. _Kagome_.

"Inuyasha..."

Said man tweaked his ears, signalling that he was listening.

"Not only did you succeed into putting Kagome in the hospital, but if she isn't able to get up and walk out of this Kami-damned place herself," She grabbed the collar of his shirt, twisting the fabric in her hands as she looked him dead in the eye. Her pupils dilated as a sneer spread across her face. "I'll throw you in hell with your bitch."

He tightened his jaw. "Is that a threat?"

She shoved the hanyou away from her body, clicking her tongue as she tried not to let her temper get the best of her. "It's a promise, and it's one that'll be kept. Not like you'd understand, right?"

He bit his tongue hard as he tightened his hands into fists. His eyes flashed from red to gold repeatedly as he took in deep breaths. Was it really wise for her to insult him at this time?

"Now Sango," Miroku intervened, _finally_. "This isn't the time to be picking figh- Ur," He coughed. "_Scoldings_. I don't think Kagome would be very appreciative of it."

Inuyasha set a scowl on his face after receiving one last look from the raging woman before she sat beside her calm husband. He didn't understand why Miroku chose a woman like her; she's completely unattractive. Sure, first glance and she looks like a fine piece of ass, but the moment she opens her mouth you just want to wash your eyes of her sight. Her personality was too fierce, she was too much of a feminist, and he's pretty sure that she abuses Miroku.

No matter how he sees it, he can't find one good thing that could possibly have gotten his friend's interest. If a guy were to ever go for a girl for her looks alone, he'd probably be in her pants, at max, in a week and just dump her. Hell, that _was_ Miroku. The hanyou let the thought sink in his head for a few more minutes before brushing it aside, convincing himself that Sango must have been good in bed.

Good enough to get hitched, he guesses. He didn't know how many hours he stayed in that chair thinking, but what seemed like a few minutes later he heard a call.

"Mr. Taisho."

Inuyasha looked up in awareness, standing straight up as he approached the woman that called him, the other following suit behind him. She was a shrivelled up old thing, quite small too. She stood at his chest height with one arm tucked behind her and another holding the clipboard in front of her. She must've been in some sort of accident, seeing that patch over her eye.

"Is she alright?" He rushed out.

The elder nodded as she readjusted her stance. She shook her head. "My, my. A whole bottle of sleeping pills can kill an elephant." She cleared her throat as she answered their question. "Yes, she's fine. It's lucky that you were able to get her here in time. We were able to pump her stomach of the sleeping pills before they could take a deadly affect on her."

Inuyasha felt another weight press against his shoulders, his guilt pressing him further into the ground. "Is it alright to see her? C-Can we go in...?"

"Call me Kaede," she offered. She nodded her head, showing them through various hallways until they reached Kagome's room. "She just woke up, so please be careful and don't be too rowdy."

* * *

_Kagome's POV_

I heard the white door creak open as I tried to take in my new surroundings. It doesn't seem like a place I'm familiar with. I don't recognize the white walls and plain, baby blue curtains. Nor do I recognize the millions of tubes attached to my body... And Kami it smelled like alcohol wipes. I wrinkled my nose in disgust as the conclusion came in my mind. I'm in a fucking hospital.

"...Be careful and don't be too rowdy."

My head turned towards the open door as person after person filed in. I blinked.

"Kagome!"

My eyes widened a fraction as all four of them came to my bedside, a beautiful woman with magenta eyeshadow squeezing one of my hands. I was surprised with her forwardness. She seemed like a nice enough woman, so I guess I have no problem with her touching me. And she did look concerned for me, so I'm guessing that could be why she's so forward.

"Uh, yeah?" I squeaked out as the woman now enveloped me in a bear hug. Damn she's strong.

"We were so worried!" She exclaimed. "Miroku and I were so worried!"

I nodded my head slowly as she pulled away, scanning my face. Was I supposed to look happy? A handsome man with dark black hair stood behind the concerned woman and waved a friendly hand. Judging from the ring finger on her hand, and this "Miroku" guy she called out...they're married. Cute.

"Um, okay-"

"Inuyasha!" The woman suddenly snapped, turning her head around to look behind her. "Get the fuck out of here! I highly doubt she wants to see your sorry ass right now. Let her be for once and have some peace of mind!"

I raised an eyebrow. What happened to the nice woman I met a few seconds ago? I couldn't help but feel a tug at the corner of my lips though. She had a fierce attitude on her, not willing to take any bullshit. I like a girl like that. I heard a whine from behind the woman and my heart nearly tore at the sound. It sounded like a lost puppy. I began to open my mouth to interrupt the fierce girl, thinking that the sound came from a small child. But then again, why would a person talk like that to a child?

My eyes widened in awe as the source of the adorable whine came to view. I needed to blink a few in order to make sure my eyes weren't making up anything. Was this man _gorgeous_. Sure, that black-haired man was also pretty handsome, but this "Inuyasha" took the cake! He had white-silvery tresses thrown carelessly over his shoulder, slightly messy from possibly concern over me (him being here explains that). Kami his jawline was so sharp I might just cute myself from touching it. But those eyes, those mystical _eyes_. I never seen such a beautiful golden color. His lips were just so tempting and- Are they moving? Oh, he's talking to me.

I blushed when I realized I didn't hear a single word he said, getting too lost in his eyes. For some odd reason, that made him shut up, looking at me as if I grew three heads. That only caused my blush to deepen, my face fire engine red.

"K-Kagome?" He chocked out.

I nodded my head. That seemed to be my name, I finalized. I felt my heart beat fast as he reached out to grab my left hand, our fingers interlocking. Oh dear. My face was on fire. This man, this _hot_ man, was holding my hand, as if we are dating, because our fingers are interlocked, and that's what couples do, not friends, and Oh Kami. I'm over-thinking this.

"A-Are you okay? Your face got really red, are you running a fever now?" His face blanched out. "Oh Kami you're running a fever aren't you? Where's that damn old hag?! She needs to check up on my wife!"

I swore my heart stopped.

His wife? My eyes immediately travelled to our linked hands, and just like that, there it was; my ring. I had a ring, a wedding ring, wrapped around my ring finger on my left hand.

...

What the hell was going on?

"W-Wife?" I stuttered out, retracting my hand away from this man. "I don't remember getting married!" I felt my breath quicken as i looked all over the room again, only one face out of these mysterious people familiar to me. "Kikyo!" I shouted, grabbing said girl's arm as I pulled her close to me, shielding myself from these strangers.

"K-Kagome?" She sounded confused as she looked me in the eye, her calculating hazelnut eyes reading my own oceanic ones. "What do you mean? Don't you remember Sango? Miroku?" Something seemed to flash in her glistening orbs for a moment, but I was unable to catch it before it fleeted away. "And...Inuyasha." I felt my heart jerk. But...why?

I stared at her for a second, trying to find their names in the back of my mind. Nothing. I shook my head, unsure of what was going on. Am I supposed to know these people? Am I supposed to know Inuyasha? Someone must be pranking me. I don't remember any of these people, all of them are strangers. And I'm supposed to be _married _to one of them? Um, I think I'd remember if I got hitched, thank you very much.

"I-I-I-"

The heart monitor next to me began beeping like mad as panic began to overtake me. This isn't real, right? This is just a stupid prank, a cruel prank. The jokes over already, enough is enough. Why aren't the people coming out? Where are the cameras hidden? I couldn't hear the words my sister were yelling at me as she shook my shoulders, as if I've gone deaf. I don't remember this. I don't remember any of this.

Why can't I remember this?

My mind couldn't formulate an answer on time as I felt a sharp pain in my arm before a cool liquid was injected into my body. I felt myself relax as the world around me seemed to fade.

* * *

_Third Person POV_

"S-She's j-just sleeping now?"

The elder doctor nodded her head as she placed the syringe down on a counter. Looking over at the sleeping patient.

"Then what was with her when she looked at us? Was she just startled because of lack of rest or something?"

Kaede gripped her clipboard as she scanned the papers clipped onto it. "Actually, I'm afraid not. Not only is her physical state quite poor, but her mental state as well."

Inuyasha felt his eyes glisten.

"Kagome was startled to see you, yes, but it's because she doesn't _know_ you, per say."

_No_.

"W-What are you-"

"Due to her physical state and possibly an extreme event she participated in...her mind hasn't been able to cope with all of these changes. A human's-," She cleared her throat after looking at Inuyasha. "A _person_'s brain is much like a computer. It processes information and stores it in files separated in different areas of the brain or database. However, whenever a computer receives _too _much information, it can cause it to crash and all the information is lost, both new and stored." Inuyasha tensed, already knowing where this was going. "Kagome's brain was overworked with too much information. It crashed and has restarted."

She squinted her eyes as she looked at her patient's door once more. "Under deep stress or pressure a person's mind soughts out refuge by making up a sanctuary in their brain. There was no head trauma or injuries on her body, and due to what was pumped out of her, I would say she was in deep depression." She looked at the group. "With a loving husband and friends like you four, I wonder why?"

Everyone grew silent.

"So you're saying...that she has amnesia?" Miroku said, trying to move past her last comment.

Kaede gave a withered smile. "Yes. There is a high chance that she'll be able to retain her memory once more, but it is unsure on how long that'll take. It could be years before she can attain her full memory back."

...

"How far back," Miroku started, swallowing hard. "Do you think she is?"

"From how she reacted earlier," Kaede coughed, readjusting her clipboard. "Just the basic relationship that was distinguished between you all from the very beginning. Meaning, when she first met you all."

"So what you're telling us," Sango stated slowly, "That she has no memory of any recent events? Or any crucial events like her _marriage_?"

"Unless she married a man after first meeting him, then no."

"Then it should be alright to establish her basic relationships as of currently, correct?"

The elder woman started to get irritated. Does she really need to answer that?

"I believe it is best to take your time with introductions, young lady," She sniffed. "This is all new to her and from how you saw her react earlier, don't force all these new relationships, people, and things in her face." She turned towards the silent woman; Kagome's sister. "It appears that she only knows you, so can I trust that you be able to take care of her and help her familiarise her with her relationships?"

No one could understand what thoughts ran through the porcelain woman's head. Good, bad, she was an enigma. But after what seemed to be like hours, the woman smiled. It was like a crack on a fine china vase. Whether out of mirth or vexation she responded with:

"I understand."


	6. That's just Who She Is

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* * *

_"_No way!" Kagome laughed as she poked a stick into her container of takoyaki that Kikyo bought her. She was getting sick of the hospital food. She's been stuck in this place for nearly three months and became pretty familiar to the taste of blandness by now. She has gotten much more healthy since day one. She was so surprised to see how bony she was, but hey, she was able to eat as much food as she wanted and no one would stop her. Being 5' 6", she turned from that ghastly 86 pounds to a more healthy 115. Of course she was still considered fairly skinny, so she has a few more pounds to go until she has to worry about what she eats.

"Yes way! Even ask Sango, I swear, you actually did that," Kikyo chuckled in return as she pointed towards the mentioned woman, a gentle laugh rolling off her tongue when she saw how red she was.

Of course during her hospital stay she was able to familiarise and re-introduce herself to a few of her friends, like Miroku and Sango. She learned from Kikyo that she was close friends with those two, especially that Sango girl. Apparently the two of them were best friends since middle school. She met Miroku later in high school. She was having a riot hearing all the stories and memories they all did together, although she wished she could remember them. It would've been funner if she was able to remember the experience.

"It's true," Sango huffed as she chewed on her dango, her cheeks a rosy red. "When the both of us first entered high school together, Miroku was the first person that we met to give us an orientation. But we didn't know he was just as new and actually thought he was a sensei or something, right? And-" She shook her head as laughter started to rumble in her throat. "I can't say it! Oh Kami it was too embarrassing," Her shoulders began to shake. "We were so lucky that Inuya-"

Kikyo made a loud coughing sound as she shifted in her seat, placing her box of yakitori on her lap. Sango quickly closed her mouth as she flashed a smile at her in-bed friend. Kagome sighed as she heard a knock on her room door, a nurse in the doorframe. She sent a small smile as she waved the two goodbye, sighing the moment they left. She didn't understand.

For the past three months, this "Inuyasha" man was never allowed to be mentioned in her presence. Wasn't he important to her somehow? He was one of those four people that was at her bedside when she first arrived in the compound. And since then, she has never heard of a single thing about him. Just his name. In every story, inside joke, or memory Kikyo, Miroku, or Sango told her his name and just plain existence seemed to be censored from her. She even remembers this one time, after a week or so she was here, he was trying to get inside her room but her sister seemed to be always keeping him out.

It made her so curious.

She felt herself grin as the familiar sound of rustling pricked her ears. Her room was only on the second story, it wasn't that far off the ground. And just her luck, a tree was grown right outside her window. She propped herself up as she grabbed her IV drip. She knew she shouldn't question her sister's purpose of protectiveness, but technically Kikyo just avoided the question and didn't actually give her a _reason_. And besides, who said curiosity kills? Aside from that cat.

"Hey you," She beamed as she unlocked her window, letting the late-night visitor in. Visiting hours ended at nine o'clock, so it wasn't that late she guessed.

The visitor gave her a smirk as he wrapped an arm around her waist, leading her back to her bed. "You shouldn't get out of bed so much, you're still under bed-rest," The man scolded gently as he laid her down on her bed.

She rolled her eyes. He was always so gentle with her. It was sweet for the first month, but come on, she was a fully grown woman, she's feeling _fine_. "I'm alright, Inuyasha," She grinned, punching said man's arm softly. "I'm a tough girl!"

Golden orbs rolled as he flicked the onna's forehead. He scoffed when she cooed as she nursed the small wound. "Right, _tough girl_." He couldn't help but feel his heart swell. She looked completely innocent at this moment, although childish but at the same time cute. She wasn't giving him that deadman stare that haunted his dreams, a shallow smile that was probably forced, and hell - she didn't look _dead_. She was actually enjoying his company.

And hopefully it'll stay like that.

"I feel so rebellious letting you visit me after visiting hours," The raven-haired beauty spoke, "Like I'm a kid staying past my curfew."

He rolled his eyes at the lame joke, but couldn't resist the tug pulling at the corner of his lips. He should be feeling guilty, not happy. This was wrong. This was Kagome's chance of a new life, a fresh start. One that she's laughing in, one that she's smiling in, one that has her standing by the man she loves. She deserves that; _love_. She deserved a family, a big family, one that has a dog and a cat. And there'll be a roof over that loving family, with a white-picket fence protecting that house.

She deserved every dream, every fantasy, every wish she's ever had to come true because does Kami know she _deserves _it.

But instead, here she is, building her new house out of the bricks from the old one.

And he's not stopping it.

"Such a badass I have over here," He smirked, trying to ignore the thought. "But it's not like I come at this time by choice."

Cobalt irises rolled as she scoffed. "I know, I know. Honestly, you must have picked some bone with Kikyo in order for her to keep you out all the time." She turned to him and gave him a mischievous smile. "Trouble in paradise?"

He tried not to make his crooked smile flatter as he nudged her shoulder playfully. How come now he feels horrible about his relationship with Kikyo? Well, he felt that it was wrong to begin with, but for Kagome to say that him and Kikyo were a couple with such ease, as if it didn't matter...It stung. And it was completely untrue. For three months straight, Kikyo and himself never met up. Not once. Not like he has a problem with that, he is trying to patch things back up with Kagome...but that damn Kikyo won't let that happen.

He knew the exact reason why Kikyo wouldn't let him near Kagome, it wasn't rocket science. She didn't want a repeat of Kagome's episode. She didn't want Kagome to fall in love with him again only to remember everything that he and herself put her through and cut all ties with them completely. Kikyo didn't want to be hated by Kagome again, not that she was to begin with. He guessed what Sango called her out for still rung in the girl's ears for her to keep this up. But damn it all, he couldn't leave this chance to be untouched! This was the redemption he was waiting for, his new starting point. He'd be damned if he let Kagome slip through his hands twice.

She will be his.

"So what new things did you learn today," He sniffed as he pulled a chair beside her, turning it so that the backrest was pressed against his chest. "Remember anything?"

"Learned a lot, not much remembered, but once again, Kiks wouldn't let anything be talked about you," She let out a low whistle. "I don't know what you did, but it must've been big to piss her off that much." She shook her head at him. "I suggest you guys make up quickly, Kiks is the type to hold a grudge."

He let out a sigh as he rubbed the back of his ears. Again, she kept thinking that they were dating. "I don't really care if she does hate me," He groaned as he rested his hands on the backrest. "We're not dating."

She nodded her head as she gave him a doubtful look. "Alright...Kiks likes Ferro Roche and takoyaki as a 'forgive-me' gift," She gave him a wink. "You can just give them to me so I can give it to her."

For what seemed to be the umpteenth time, he rolled his eyes. "We're not dating! And those are your favorite foods." He responded blandly as he saw her snap her fingers comically.

"Aw shucks you saw right through me!" She giggled as she gave him a mock pout.

She liked being around Inuyasha. For some reason it felt natural, like they were childhood friends. According to him, they met in high school and first started hating each other. It took him a week to convince her of that. Even though she couldn't remember they're status before the accident, it couldn't have been bad if they're so buddy-buddy right now.

"I'm being discharged in a couple of days," She quipped, "Kaeda said that my physical condition has improved greatly and that it'll be safe to bring me back home," Inuyasha stiffened. "And she said it'll be better for my metal state too. Things there might help me remember." She sent him a smile. "Don't you agree?"

Shit, he didn't think she'd be discharged so soon. His mind was racing as he choked out a stuttering, "Y-Yeah" as a response. Did she mean home as in _their_ home? Or some fake home _Kikyo_ made up. He felt his jaw tighten. He can't allow that to happen. Kagome is going to be living with him in _their _home. But he was smart, he wasn't a CEO for nothing. If he brought Kagome back to their home, would she remember all the shit that went down in there? Would he be outcasted once more? He felt his throat close up as breathing seemed to be an impossible task.

"Inuyasha?"

No, please, not again. He didn't want to be alone again.

"Inuyasha!"

Any Kami up there he promises he won't let Kagome get hurt again, but don't bring him back to that corner. Please!

"Damn it Inuyasha, _breathe!__"_

He blinked his eyes rapidly as he took a deep breath in, not realizing his lack of oxygen. He turned sheepish orbs to concerned sapphire. He felt his heart tighten as guilt clouded his mind. He wasn't worthy of her precious gaze, one that's as passionate and endearing as hers. But he was selfish. He wanted it, even if he didn't have a right for it. He wanted her, even though he lost that privilege. His human side was begging him to leave before he inflicts anymore damage, his demon side was angry with him to be so unworthy of this fragile woman.

"What's with the look, 'Gome?" He smirked, trying to lighten up the mood. "It makes you look stupid."

All concern was wiped off her face as she gave him a sarcastic look. "I'm so glad I stopped you from not breathing. Honestly, no death would've been more worthy." She trilled sarcastically. "I'd have fun explaining your cause of death: 'Here lays Inuyasha, a pompous ass that died from forgetting how to breathe.'" She giggled as she shook her head. "It'd turn from a funeral to a stand-up in seconds."

No death would've been most fit for his egocentric ass.

"Well what questions do you have tonight, Kags," He shifted topics. "Any new stories or memories you're unsure of?" He did this every night he came to visit her. She would ask him questions about how the two of them were like in high school, or to clarify any story she heard from Sango or Kiks, anything she could think of that involved the two of them.

"Let's see," She cleared her throat as she crinkled her eyebrows together. "Since we've talked about anything we could for our social life...did I have any love interests?"

His eyebrows shot up till they got lost in his bangs. "Love interests?"

She faked a gasp. "So you're telling me that I'm a 30 year old woman who has no one in her love life?" She pouted. "What next, I'm also a 30 year old virgin?"

His mind was racing for any lies or stories he can concoct to answer her questions. He couldn't lie for the second question; when she has sex she'll definitely know she's a virgin. But her love life? Since her only _love_ would've been him...it should be safe to tell her that, right? _No_, his demon hissed. _Since you're too selfish to release her, hanyou,_ It lectured, _Save her from knowing this truth. She'll remember what caused her accident and you'll be resented once more. _It sneered at him. _Pathetic hanyou, it'll fit you justice._

He tried to ignore the rattling his youkai has caused as he contemplated on his reply. "Well...you have been in a relationship," He started, "But only one." He chuckled at her flabbergasted expression. "Don't worry, it was one of those 'i'm going to marry this man' kind of relationships," She gave him a so-so look. "And for your second question...yes."

Kagome blinked. "Wait...so after being in a relationship with this guy that I was all lovey-dovey with...we didn't even have _sex_!" Her jaw dropped. "Was I a prude or something? No, it had to be the guy. Was he one of those 'wait till marriage' kind of dudes?" She sighed. "That is just sad. I pity me. Not even knowing what sex is like."

In all honesty, he didn't know why he kept her pure for so long. He inwardly grimaced. Perhaps that's the reason itself.

"Well at least you'll have an experience that you'll remember," He offered half-heartedly, shrugging his shoulders.

She sighed. "I guess. Now I got another question," Blue clashed with gold. "Who was he?"

And there's the dreaded question. His being was screaming, begging for him to lie to her. Tell her that it was some guy that moved away, or that it was some man from college. He can't tell her that it was him. He can make up as many stories about their relationship, hide the darkest memories in the recesses of their minds, but it won't stop the inevitable from happening.

"Just some," He felt his heart give way. "Jerk that you shouldn't concern about." How is it that he can voice other's judgements on him, but he can't accept it himself?

"Yikes, sore topic. Lucky I already forget him, huh?" Kagome shuddered, shaking her head. "Why'd I stay with him again?"

He flattened his ears. "Because that's just who you are...you'd do anything to keep him happy..."

She shook her head surely at him, readjusting her body to face him properly. "That's just pathetic." He piped his head up. "C'mon, Yash, you gotta agree with me on that. To be in a relationship is a two-way street. To stay with a man for his happiness but throw yours away?" She chuckled. "I don't believe any sensible person would make such a conscious decision."

He felt his chest squeeze. "People are capable of such things when it comes to love," He argued.

She shook her head once more. "People will act silly, say ridiculous things, get angry for love," She gave him a stern look, "But never will one bend over backwards for love. That's not love, Yasha," She leaned in closer, "That's just fear for being alone."

How could someone feel so cold, yet, be sweating at the same time?

"Well love is basically just some delusion some human made up as an excuse to find a mate to pass their genes on from, right? With that in mind, is there really such a thing called love?" Why was he trying so hard?

"With that mindset love doesn't exist in that person," Kagome clipped. "To them, love is destructive- _They're_ destructive." She frowned slightly, her head feeling heavy. "I feel bad for whomever chooses to put themselves up with people like that. That one may love that person with all their heart, stay by their side and convince themselves that patience will reward their unrequited love, but all that's happening is they're falling apart piece by aching piece."

Her head was pounding by now. "Because in all honesty, someone so ruinous will only delude the girl into believing they're loved. Delude that in order for that girl to gain love is to ensure the other's happiness while abandoning their own," She closed her eyes tight as she silently begged the shake in her brain to stop.

"B-But in the end," Why was she choking up? "He didn't _love_ her. H-He just didn't want to be _alone_,"

Inuyasha felt tears prick the back of his eyes. "Kagome."

"Or maybe," Her voice was breaking. "Maybe she just made his _ego_ feel good."

His hands were shaking, his voice coming out in a whine. "Stop."

"Or," She heard her heart monitor speed up. "Or maybe she made him f-feel better about," She inhaled a shaky breath, "about his _miserable life,_ but he didn't love her." Her head was now hung low, her heart racing and her mind throbbing with stress. "Because no one destroys people you love, no one."

Her mind was racing but no actual thought came clear in her head as she tried to see through the pain. Her emotions were running loose as stream after stream came running down her cheeks, teardrops dripping off her chin. Why was she crying? Why did her chest feel so heavy but her brain couldn't tell her why? Was this because of this mysterious man? Did he cause her this much angst, this much _torture_ when she put her happiness aside for his? Though she couldn't formulate any answers from her past relationship, she was sure of one thing.

Never will she let this feeling return.

_Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me_. She thought solemnly, wiping her tears away. Her brian couldn't formulate a face to connect her rapid emotions with, however, she was able to come up with a name. Or at least a letter. _K._ Her sadness couldn't connect with the letter, rather, her mind was able to connect her to it..._Oh Kami, I forgot Inuyasha was still her,_ she berated inwardly as she lifted her head, pushing her curtain of hair to see his face. Much to her surprise, he was gone.

As Inuyasha stared from outside Kagome's hospital window, he felt his heart cry out for her buried one as he turned his head in shame, unable to look at the damage he dealt. If she remembers everything- He shook his head. _When_ she remembers everything, including him, will she still keep to what she said just now? Will she honestly leave him, forget about him- He flattened his ears as he walked away.

Of course she will, because that's just who she is...


	7. Monsters are Scary

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING**

**_Not much of InuxKag in here, but I think you guys will like this chappie ;)_**

**_Anyway,_**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

"You told her _what_?!" Miroku choked as he pressed his phone closer to his ear, unbelievable horrors fleeting through his eyes. "What the hell were you thinking, Yash!" He needed to keep his voice down, he was at home and Sango might hear him talking to Inuyasha.

Said man released a groan on the other end as Miroku heard a slap. _"I don't know what I was thinking, I just wanted to see her."_

"Well you saw her," The dark-haired man hissed. "I told you this before, Inuyasha, and I'll say it again: Give up on her. You're just causing her pain and this is a new way for her to actually _live_. She wasted her golden years on your sorry ass." He was furious, irate, seething, just so _fucking_ enraged with this man. He was angry with all the horrible deeds he did to Kagome, he was mad at his audacity to bounce back at her moment of vulnerability.

Most of all, he was angry at himself. He shouldn't be talking to Inuyasha, he shouldn't be interacting with him. He shouldn't be betraying Kagome like this, but he couldn't leave Inuyasha to make decisions himself. He hated how he made-up a reason to stay with Inuyasha's ass just because he's his best friend. He grimaced as realization struck him. He was angry for being in the same position as Kagome, except, his raven-haired friend was given the blessing of ignorance.

It wasn't fucking right.

_"Think back to when we were together, Roku," _The baka-inu pressed. _"Don't you remember how happy she was? Remember how the two of us were so happy? She will live, she will live in a way that makes her happy."_

"How about 3 months ago," Miroku snapped. "When she was an anorexic, lifeless, _thing_. Her state wasn't even _human_. Do you not even know the full extent of _pain _and _grief_ that rattled her being?!"

_"If that happens..."_

Violet eyes sparkled with uncertainty. "So you'll let her move on properly. Give her the space she deserves."

Silence.

Aggravation and ire kindled with unfathomable passion in the jet-black haired man. "You know what's the problem, Inuyasha? _You_. No, it's not from the cheating, it's not _only_ from your selfish desire to not be alone," His breathing became erratic. "You somehow _gauge_ a reaction from people to _stay_ with you. That no matter how much you hurt them, torture them, they will stay by you _no matter_. And you make fun of that fact. You take it for granted, take those people's _devotion_ for you, for granted!" He closed his eyes tight as he tried to calm his heartbeat. "You push them away, Yasha. You refuse to get close enough to a person that you start seeking out others. That's why Kagome said what you had wasn't _love_. Because you're too scared."

Crackling was heard from the other end as a low growl was the ningen's response. _"Why is everyone wanting to be my fucking therapist lately? You're completely wrong, Miroku. If I have trust issues then I would have refused to date Kagome. Why the fuck would I get close to her if I were 'scared.'"_ The hanyou scoffed. _"I'm not scared of commitment."_

"You're scared of abandonment, you asshole."

_"Name me one fucking person that isn't! No one wants to be alone! For their funeral, no one wants their casket lying on the fucking grass but no one crying for them."_

"That's true," He quipped, running a hand through his dark hair, "But I can name people that would've _never_ abandoned you, Yash. Kagome was one of them, but you didn't trust her enough that _you _abandoned her." His eyes hardened. "You let yourself to fall for lies about her sexual relations in order to make yourself feel _better_ instead of having faith in your relationship or even find out the truth yourself."

_"So you're telling me if you heard Sango was fucking some other man behind your back, you'd brush it aside as if it's nothing?" _Inuyasha howled.

"Weren't you the one who told her she was a virgin? Were you perhaps trying to lie to her? Or did you realize that her unfaithfulness was a _lie_."

...

This was getting pathetic.

"You're impossible to talk to," Miroku chuckled heartlessly, clicking his tongue. "I'm done here, Yash. I'm on my way to visit Kagome before she leaves the hospital tomorrow." He lowered his voice as he prepared to get in his car, grabbing his keys. "And I will tell her to not let you in tonight. Your shenanigans and mind games end _here_."

_"You bastard, I-"_

He didn't want to hear this bullshit any longer. Hanging up the phone, he threw the cell into the passenger's seat as he slammed his car door shut, already pulling out of his driveway. He said it loud and he said it bluntly, what else does that idiot need in order to stay away from Kagome? This is a very good thing for her, very good thing. And he isn't going to let that _guy_ ruin this for her. He bit his lip as he pulled to the side of the road, parking in front of a hotel.

He shouldn't be doing this to Inuyasha, shouldn't be betraying him like this...but he's warned him so many times and threatened him even, but he doesn't want to see Kagome that pained again. He honked his horn impatiently as he tried to ward off the guilty pangs making its way towards his brain. He already knows his silver-headed idiot has trust issues, so for him to do this is definitely not helping.

But it's karma, right?

"You're late," Miroku sighed as he unlocked the passenger's door, quickly grabbing his phone so it won't be crushed.

"You're 20 minutes early," A rough voice replied. "But if it's for Kagome, then I should've been ready earlier."

Miroku tried to hide his grin as he let his car engine roar to life, speeding towards Shikon Hospital. This is _exactly _what Kags needed. A gentleman. Someone that would put _her_ above anything else, someone that would care for her and love her the exact way she deserves.

"So why did you call me out, Miroku? Isn't Kagome still with that dog-shit?" A smirk lit the man's face. "And aren't you his best friend?"

Said man felt his hands grip the steering wheel tighter as he clenched his jaw. "Obviously while you were away the last 6 years, a lot of things have changed." He growled out. "We're not on our way to Kagome's place, Kouga," He glanced at the youkai. "We're going to Shikon."

Kouga raised an eyebrow. "You tricked me into going to a hospital?"

Violet eyes rolled as he pulled into Shikon's parking lot. "We're seeing Kagome."

Sharp cerulean briefly flickered to red as a snarl escaped his bared teeth. "I shouldn't have trusted that dog-shit with her. He let her get hurt," He scoffed. "I shouldn't have expected less from that mutt. A woman as fine as Kagome deserves better."

The wolf-demon felt a steel grip on his arm as he tuned to look at the fakest smile he's ever seen. "You know, even though I called you for Kagome," The ningen stated slowly, his tone dipping into a sickly tone. "Don't talk shit about my friend."

The demon shrugged Miroku's grip off his shoulder, scoffing at his words. "A friend would let his 'friend's' woman into another man's arms?"

"If you knew what happened you would want Kagome to run away from him as fast as possible."

Baffled with his response, Kouga merely followed after the black-haired human as questions racked through his mind. What the hell has happened since he left? He remembered when he and Kagome were in college, she was dating that Mutt-Face and he would constantly try to steal her away from him. But when graduation came around, he was given a job offer he couldn't refuse and had to give up on poor Kagome and move out of the country. But he swore he'd come back for her. But it's been 6 years, he's a 30 year old man who has a pretty successful career. He figured she would've forgotten him and married that dog by now...

"Don't scare her too much,"

Kouga piped his head up as he heard Miroku speak, blinking his eyes. "Uh, sure." Why would she be scared of him?

Nodding his head, Miroku put on a comforting smile as they both entered Kagome's hospital room, surprising her slightly when she jolted from her laying position. "Hey Kags," He grinned, walking in front of their other guest. "I brought someone that'll help you with your memory."

Memory?

"Eh? Who's this?"

Kouga felt his back stiffen as he finally realized the situation set in. He let a smirk don his lips as he peeped his head from behind Miroku, waving kindly at the hospitalised girl. "Long time no see, Kaggy."

He pulled up a seat to her bedside and continued to grin widely at her. He wouldn't let that Inutrasha have Kagome again. Not only is he not here by her bedside, but he isn't here when her _memory_ is gone. He won't tolerate such incompetence. _Such a despicable boyfriend._

"I know you probably don't remember me, but I'm Kouga Ookami, we were great friends in college." He flattered at her confused face. "Um...Your boyfriend-" He was cut off when he saw her eyes widen, her oceanic orbs kindling as she quickly grasped his hands.

"Boyfriend," She announced.

Everything seemed to turn silent. The wolf felt his lips twitch.

"Uh, I think you're misunderstanding-"

"K! Kouga, K!" She interrupted, yet again. "We dated in college, ne? You even said my boyfriend." Her eyes went misty as she turned her attention to Roku. "Why did you bring him here?"

This was getting misunderstood very fast.

"We're not dating, nor did we ever," Cobalt eyes shifted uncomfortably as he tried to regain his posture. "If you'd let me finish, I was going to say that I was someone your trash-of-a-boyfriend hated."

Miroku felt like banging his head against a wall. It would've been smarter to inform this dense youkai about what memories Kagome has attained and what memories are still lost. He inwardly winced. At this rate, things will crumble back to what it used to be. Like hell will that happen.

"You knew my boyfriend?" Kagome tilted her head as she stared into the sharp eyes of the youkai beside her. She had to admit, they were such a pretty shade of blue...it made her heart ache. She blinked.

Kouga gave her a confused look as he glanced towards the ningen behind him, raising an eyebrow. Then it clicked. The call...Kagome...her current state...He clenched his jaw as he let out a fierce growl, his eyes momentarily turning red. Was this a fucking joke? No, he isn't going to be played like this. This was cruel. He may not have given up on Kagome, but he _refuses_ to be her recovery toy. He won't make her suffer like that.

"You're such a fucker, Roku. You can't put me through this, also Kagome! Amnesia is temporary, what will happen when she remembers everything, huh? Who's her real boyfriend, what's really going on." He clicked his tongue as he clenched his fists tight. "I refuse. I'm not-"

"Let me explain everything before you blow your fuse, Ookami," Miroku clenched out, walking briskly to Kagome's side. He gave her an apologetic look as he went to her anaesthesia tank, grabbing the mask and placing it over her mouth. The girl gave alarmed eyes at him as she struggled to take the mask off, confusion and hurt brimming the lids of her crystal-like eyes.

He didn't mean for this to happen, but it's all for Kagome. _So please stop fighting._

"Miroku, are you an _idiot_! W-What are- Kagome-"

"I called you over to bring Kagome happiness, Kouga," He cut him off, clipping his voice tight as he tried to hide the regret in his voice. "It's true that she lost her memory, and it isn't fair for you to be her distraction...but she needs someone in her life, someone that can appreciate her worth."

He glared pained indigo at the shell-shocked man as he grieved out his selfishness. "She can't be with Inuyasha anymore, Ookami. For five years, she used to be nothing but _existing_. All because Inuyasha was too damn _naive_ and _scared_ too let someone be there for him." How pathetic that he was pleading now. "Pity her, Kouga, please, give her a life she deserves. I failed to protect her like a brother, I failed to scold Inuyasha." He was such a weak man. "I failed to keep them _alive_."

How did it get reduced to this?

"...Is that it?"

He chuckled darkly, shaking his head slightly. Wolves really don't show their opponent no mercy.

"You're twisted, Roku." Kouga finalized, staring at his human companion in awe. "You've convinced yourself that you bare all of the grief from their relationship, just because you feel the need to fix _everything_. Do you think you're some kind of priest?" He glared. "Just because there are demons living in this world with humans now, doesn't mean that we're the only monsters. Hearing this selfish desire of yours...just spare me the pity."

Miroku clenched his jaw as he sent a vengeful look. "You bastard-"

"You're just as cruel as Inuyasha was to Kagome, aren't you? You believe Inuyasha is too much of an idiot, so much that he doesn't know the full extent of his actions." He nodded his head when he saw Miroku stiffen. "Ah, hit the nail right at the head, huh? You believe in karma, don't you? You believe he should deal with the same angst he put Kagome through just so he can realize how wrong he was, right?"

This man didn't even seem like his cunning friend anymore...just some _thing_ locked deep inside...Human monsters are truly frightening.

"Let Kagome see the world as it is now, not behind her sorrow."

"What the fuck-"

"Let her _live_, Miroku. You and I both knew her so well in college. Whenever she was sad or pained...she was so good at hiding it...where no one knew the pain she left." Kouga stared tenderly at Kagome's sleeping face, his heart beating in pain for her; pity. "She's a strong girl, a good girl."

Miroku gazed at the two before him as he let out a sigh. Even if his words were true, Kouga would've understood if he witnessed what he has. And he wouldn't have liked it.

"That's a bit cold to say, isn't it?" He chuckled. "Say that she's strong...as if she doesn't need sympathy, compassion?" He commenced a mafia stare down, blazing violet clashing with fierce blue. "You were gone for _6 years_ and you have the nerve to think what I'm doing...what _everyone_ is doing is pitiable for Kagome's sake? Is it not wrong to have some self-desire in a deed?!"

"It's wrong when all you're doing is _manipulating_ the girl further."

"Manipulation? What can I possibly be manipulating this girl to do?"

"You find it unfair how she's given an excuse to let go of her weakness, am I right? Come on, Roku, I'm not stupid."

"And what weakness is that?"

Human monsters are truly scary.

A sad smile. "...I'll be leaving now. I'll be Kagome's distraction, so don't worry about it." He ran a hand through his hair as he turned his back, making his way towards the door. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

A grim smirk. "You should've been here, Kouga. This will be a blessing for her."

Said man flinched slightly before he nodded in acknowledgement and walked out the door, taking his phone out to call a cab. All he's hearing is some unknown horror that happened while he was gone. Honestly...how bad could it be?

* * *

_At the Hospital_

Uncertainty washed over Miroku's figure as he gazed sadly at Kagome's sleeping form. He loved Kagome like a sister. She was truly the sunshine in the darkness, the purity amongst the impure. But that is such a dark thing to say, isn't it? There's always something bad about a person, unless they're some sort of Kami.

She's craving this attention, isn't she? She's loving all the pity and kindness she's getting from everyone.

"You can't let Inuyasha get to you again, Kags. Even though you were perfect for him...made him a better person...you threw your own life away for his expense. You don't need that."

_"Is it wrong to have some self-desire in a deed?!"_

...

"I'm sorry, Kagome," Miroku chocked up, burying his head in his hands, streams running down his face as he let his wall down. He couldn't let it all pile up, he'll just snap at any moment. "I couldn't protect you...I couldn't protect your clarity..."

Monsters are scary.


	8. No Silver Lining

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING**

**_Just to be clear, the central conflict is Kags and Inu. I'm not planning on adding anymore conflicts. I'm just stating how everyone's affected in this situation ;)_**

**_Anyway,_**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

"I'm really glad that you're taking me shopping and all," Kagome stated, looking through the clothing racks of Macy's. She picked up a red top as she gazed at it with interest. "But shouldn't I have clothes in my home?"

Kikyo gave her a light chuckle as she shook her head, giving an aloof air. "Before the whole thing happened, Kags, you kept saying how much you needed to buy new clothes because they didn't fit you anymore." She gave her a pout. "And I just wanted to spend some time with my baby _sister_." The word still felt foreign on her tongue.

_"What kind of sister sleeps with her baby sister's husband?"_

She desperately wanted to regain the admiration and respect Kagome once gave her. Kagome needed to respect her, she has to. She wanted her little sister to enjoy her company, rely on her. Kikyo Higurashi was always the ideal woman in any way possible. She was the ideal partner, ideal mother, so she should be the ideal sister, right? She _was _the ideal sister...

She's always the ideal.

"You're so weird, Kiks," Kagome laughed as she took a hanger off the rack, examining the knit-top.

Everything has second chances, right? SHe should be given the chance to seek redemption with Kagome, especially since she remembers her more than anyone. It isn't fair to be cast aside and forgotten, after everything they've been through together. It's wrong, especially since she's trying to reconcile every tear that she let slip for the past five years. Every tear she wanted to slip...She blinked. What was wrong with her?

"Hey, Kiks,"

Said woman snapped out of her phase, smiling widely at the nickname. It's been too long since she's heard it. "Yeah?"

"Well...there was this guy that I met yesterday, um, Kouga...what was my relationship with him in the past?"

Why did it feel like the winds have changed direction? _But I'm indoors_.

"Kouga Ookami," She raised a porcelain hand to play with her ebony hair, a sophisticated smile tugging her lips. "You two were really close in college," _Not as close as Inuyasha. _"And if I'm not mistaken, he pursued you for four years until he had to go abroad for his job." There was a twinkle in her chocolate orbs. "Did he come back?" Of course he did, Kagome just said so.

"Yeah," The amnesiac chided, her smile soft. "We didn't get closer than friends, right?"

If she could, she would've said they no. "Yeah, you didn't want a relationship further than friends." Where was she going with this?

"Because I had a boyfriend...right?"

Kikyo dropped the top she was examining, her back stiffening. No. She made sure with every story, every memory re-told to her, that Kagome's love life and ex-_husband_ remained unsaid. That those five years remained unsaid. Sango agreed to it, Miroku agreed to it, even Momma and Souta. So that would only mean...Her eyes widened. She bit her thumb as she turned to face her little sister, giving her an aloof smile.

"I wouldn't call him a boyfriend, I would say a past mistake."

Kagome furrowed her eyebrows together as uncertainty washed over her vision. "Why does everyone say that? Kouga called him a trashy boyfriend, now you're practically saying the same thing." She crossed her arms. "Who exactly is he? And how come no one wants to tell me? Hell, even Inuyasha won't tell-"

Cerulean eyes widened a fraction as she saw the precious porcelain that made her sister's face, crack. Ungraceful worry and nervousness etched her face as she grabbed Kagome, her hands gripping her like a boa constrictor. Kagome blinked. This was the first she's seen her sister so...clumsy? No...scared? No, she wasn't scared...Bothered.

"What name did you say?"

That man has soiled this family yet again.

"Inuyasha." Kagome tilted her head. "Now that I think about it, you don't really like him." She gave the distressed woman a smirk. "Couple drama, couple drama~" She giggled. "How'd you two break up?" Kagome felt a discomfort in her head as she hid her wince. Kami, she'd need to take a Tylenol or Advil later.

Kikyo clicked her tongue, inwardly raising her eyebrow. So that's how he played the two of them off? She grinned sadly. "Oh just a little fight," Kagome is Inuyasha's wife. "But we're probably going to make up soon." Kagome is her little sister. "Honestly, he's such a sweetheart." She's the sister that slept with sister's husband.

Kagome grinned widely as she hugged her older sister, happy for her. "I'm glad he makes you happy, Sis."

She's the sister that is perfect.

"I hope to find my Inuyasha,"

A stiff smile. "You will, in time you will..." Never.

"Well," Kagome smiled, mirth in her tone. "I think I have," She faced her sister as she held up a halter top, giving her a daring look. "Since that Kouga and I never had a bad break up like with that asshat," Kikyo couldn't remember a time she saw her baby sister's smile light up like that. "Maybe we could have a chance."

The idea mulled over in the older brunette's head as she pursed her lips, nodding her head. This day couldn't get any better. With Kagome going head over heels for Kouga, leaving Inuyasha unoccupied...she could practically go back to old times without any emotional baggage. And nothing holding her back. Nothing corrupting her.

"I'll be rooting for you two," She could care less. "You two were always so adorable." Why was she lying? _Please listen to the poison I'm spewing, Kagome_, she silently begged. _Don't forgive me, please. Abandon me. Don't let me taint you._

A small smile. "Thank you Kikyo, I always know I have my sister's back."

Does she?

"Yeah...anything for my baby sister."

_Anything for me_.

* * *

"You're digging yourself another grave," Inuyasha growled as he made a move to close his front door, not wanting to look at his visitor for another second. "We're _done_. Be a fucking proper sister like you've been pretending to be for fucking 3 months!"

Kikyo sighed relentlessly as she banged against his closed door, stomping her foot. "_You_ told her we were an item," She glared when she heard him scoff. "Why the fuck did you try to tell her about your relationship? She's getting suspicious and all progress that either of us made will be _gone_."

Opening the mahogany reluctantly, the entrepreneur let out an aggravated sigh as he leaned on his doorframe, his arms crossed. "One, I never told her that we were an item. Hell, we're not even a _thing_." Ouch. "And...Well I don't know, I'm her husband, we have history, why _shouldn't_ I tell her?"

"Wow, now you're her husband."

"That's rich coming from you."

The brunette let out an irritated growl, the complete opposite of her usual demeanour. She was glad Sango wanted Kagome to crash with her for tonight, though it was weird how Miroku said he's going to stay at Inuyasha's. But Kagome didn't seem to mind. She still needed time to organize everything Kagome. Where is she going to stay, what if she gets suspicious about her past again...

She needed time.

Things are not allowed to go back to that time.

"Why should I listen to you," The silver-haired male snapped. She couldn't help but feel her heart ache slightly. He really did have the intent of destroying all relations with her. "You told me that Kagome was impure. That she was _philandering_ and that is why she smelled so much like another man." His eyes went ablaze. "You were the _soul reason _for my marriage with Kagome to get destroyed. You made me into a _monster_."

Just throw her heart underneath a bus, why don't you. She stared into his golden irises as she chuckled.

"The fact that you're too scared to face your own monsters, yet choose to make one out of another, is _pathetic_."

She felt her figure quack in anger- no, rage- no...guilt. But isn't that contradictory to his point?

"This is coming from you?" She laughed. "Admit it; _you're_ the monster. I'm not the reason your marriage went to shambles; _you were_. Stop hiding behind people, Yash!"

"I'm not hiding behind _anything_, Kikyo." His eyes were kindling with unimaginable rage. "You know what? Maybe I am a monster! After all, I did cheat on my wife with you, her sister," He let out a dry laugh. "And hey, I never even kissed you during sex! Wouldn't make sense since the only thing that's _good_ about _you_ is you're body!"

She looked on the floor sadly, shaking her head slightly as she shielded her emotions from the oblivious man in front of her, awe-struck with his denial and acusations. But she understands. She didn't want to believe that _she_ was the cause of Kagome's grief either, nor did she want to believe that the damage she dealt can't be fixed. Huh...guess her and Inuyasha were so alike. Difference is she woke up.

"When is your phase of denial going to come to an end, Inuyasha?" She questioned unjustly, her eyes brimming with tears. With her head hung low, she said, "I've admitted that I did Kagome wrong, that I'm a monster...but I'm doing every damn thing I could to fix this."_  
_

An offended look crossed the hanyou's face as jabbed a finger at the guilt-struck woman, forcing her to look up. "And I'm not? I've realized what I did hurt Kagome, but difference was that I did it out of _insecurity_." He gave her a disgusted look. "You did it because you _can_. You _seduced_ me and in result, hurt Kagome, full knowingly!" He looked at her in disbelief. "That's _passing_ monster. What you did was down-right _cruel_." He scowled. "No wonder you and Naraku were so good together. It's almost hard to believe that you two broke up."

Tears were rolling down the perfect-beauty's cheeks as she held her head in her hands. She wasn't ashamed. She didn't feel the guilt a normal person would, nor did she regret any of her actions. She was crying for one thing only; herself. She was crying for this man accusing someone such as herself, accusing her of the truth. She was sad because she was feeling pity for herself because this man has reduced her existence. And she couldn't _believe_ he brought up Naraku! What gall he has.

She was the ideal.

Why doesn't he want her?

"You're more than a monster, Kikyo."

She's perfect.

"I'm _perfect_, Inuyasha."

She's corrupted.

What happened to Kikyo Higurashi, the envy of women? She was the enchantress of all men, she could've gotten anyone with the snap of her fingers. Except this man. Sure, she got to bed him, but what a long _time_ it took! It took her three months. Three. Months. That surprised her so much. It made her confused, tired...realize. She's as beautiful as a porcelain doll, she's often heard.

But she's exactly like a porcelain doll. In every single aspect.

"You're just as worse as me," Inuyasha nearly whispered, his head pounding from all the stress piling into him. "No...you're perfectly _horrible_."

She is, isn't she?

He chuckled. "And yet, I'm the one being put behind bars, all because I was accused on the basis that I'm half-youkai." His eyes seemed to shift to a glazed look, as if he was staring off into space. "I've accepted the fact that I won't be able to go past all these...these horrible things I've done." He looked her dead in the eye. "I can't go back and create a new beginning with her, but anyone...anyone can start today and make a new ending."

Kikyo stared smokey eyes at his own golden ones, her gaze mesmerising and mysterious.

"...Is that you talking or Miroku?"

He stiffened his back, blinking his eyes as he licked his lips, making a move to close the doorframe. "Like I said...I'm making a new ending." He gave her a determined look. "Whether it be sincere or otherwise."

She chuckled, throwing her head back as she released a crazed roar of laughter. Turning her back to the hanyou, she gave him a wink as she blew him a kiss, scoffing at his repellant look. "I think you have a point there," She threw him a smirk. "Miroku seems to be making a new ending for Kagome." She watched as his heart seemed to break piece by piece in front of her, her relishing every moment. "Kouga Ookami is back in town." Why did she enjoy his lost look? "And he knows about Kagome."

Oh yeah...

Because she's corrupted. She should accept that, shouldn't she? After all, it's not like she wanted to end up like this, she used to be so pure. She _needs_ to be pure. But why is this tainted world so _unfair_? Was it all just a delusion that it was _supposed_ to be fair? _Naraku_. She felt herself choke as she hardened her gaze with the man in front of her.

This was her punishment.

"S-She wouldn't-" Inuyasha whined, his golden eyes losing its spark. "She wouldn't..."

For Naraku...for Inuyasha. _Inuyasha_.

"Oh she would."

Why doesn't that man want her?

"After all,"

What's better than her?

"She's getting ready to chase after Kouga." Inuyasha's ears fell flat on his skull, his body going limp. He couldn't believe it. "You screwed up, it would've been better to realize that sooner." She smirked. "So we are the same after all."

The hanyou casted his gaze downwards as he clenched his hands for the final time before giving up. His eyes were screwed shut as he made a move to close the door. He lost, he really lost. He let his greatest fears eat him up and now...they're really happening. A lone tear travelled down deadened eyes as all hope vanished from his being. All the determination, passion, _drive_ to get his shit together, to make things right...just travelled down his face and collied with the floor.

His life...was coming to an end.

All because he chose to stay silent about what mattered.

* * *

Kikyo Higurashi was mad. No, she wasn't angry or raging, she was _mad_. Whatever happened to that older sister she was, or that envious woman, was long _gone_. And she didn't like it. She hated what she had become, who she _now_ is. Temptation lured her in and temptation is keeping her there. She let out a shaky breath as she slammed her apartment door shut, her eyes brimming with water but her pride not allowing a single tear to drop. Why was it that _he_ was always able to make her like this

_Inuyasha_.

That name made her skin crawl. That man caused her family to collapse because of his insecurities. That man hospitalized her sister because of how _insincere_ he was. That man broke up her's and Kagome's relationship. She felt her creamy-white body shudder as she did her best to conceal her cries. That _hanyou_ was too caught up in his own selfish desires to try to see how it was affecting others!

She hated that about him. She hated _him_.

It shouldn't be that much of a shock, right? That she hated him? Perhaps it's because of that damn demon side of him, cursing his poor humanity and making him alike with cruel youkais. Yeah, that was it, right? Her poor Inuyasha was just a victim, like Naraku...

She bit her lip as she marched her way to her fridge, grabbing a wine cooler and leftover pizza. Naraku Onigumo. Her first love, experience, kiss, _everything_. He was just like any other human; a creature that was born with grace and kindness in their hearts. They were so happy together...so happy. But nothing ever has a happily ever after, does it? Not when this world is corrupted, filling the population with filthy youkai.

They're the very _core_ of corruption. They destroy _anything_ and _everything_ in its path. They're _monsters_.

Her beloved Naraku...why didn't he listen to her? And now with Inuyasha...She chuckled coldly as she turned her on her television, pre-heating her oven to warm up her pizza afterwards. He should've just followed what she said, then he wouldn't have to suffer as horrible of a fate as now. She smiled emptily as she plopped herself down on her couch, flipping through various channels.

He's going to become corrupted. And he deserves that, right? Because she hates him...Or at least...that's easier to admit.

There really was no silver-lining.


End file.
